Thursday, June 8, 2006 at 12:12am
Ditching the 'poor me' thing
Column: Our Place in the Universe
I was reading Rabbi Edward Feinstein's 2003 Yom Kippur message. I had been looking for some corroboration for my musings on getting through grief. If we are suffering, when we meet someone who has suffered more than we have, we feel understood and comforted.
In his article, "Treasures in the Basement", Rabbi Feinstein writes of Rabbi Alter, a 19th century Hasidic master. Rabbi Alter speaks of God as the Oneness of all, saying that there is nothing else but God. All of creation is one, and therefore has the potential for holiness. What we see around us, the diversity of myriad wonders, can be viewed as individual beings, separate and distinct. We can delve deeply into the mysteries of each being, or into ourselves, and find we are all "glittering motes in a sunbeam." Or we can see the sun itself.
But where do we find the sun if not in each sunbeam? The true knowing of our Self is the finding of God within. The true knowing of others is the finding of God within. There is no separation. I "discovered" this truth some years ago in order to work through a difficult time of pain, separation and loss. When I looked at my own pain all I could do was drown in its overwhelming sadness. Only by connecting it to the whole was I comforted.
Rabbi Feinstein goes on to say that by looking within, one can find God, but only by living in this Light, by engaging in it, by seeing the sunbeam as a part of the Light, can this Loving Presence be translated into compassion for the world. If God truly is the Parent of all mankind, and we are a reflection of this Creator, then God's outlet for worldly compassion must come through us. In like manner, God's relief must come from us as well.
When I was a child I struggled with the concept of eternal damnation and hell. I just couldn't reconcile a God of love with damning anyone to hell for eternity. With a child's simple logic I assumed that if one person could love another, no matter how bad that other was (and surely his mother would love him), then wouldn't God do the same? And if someone loved the other they may punish him, but never for eternity.
How many parents say, "This hurts me more than it hurts you"? "And God was grieved that He had made man . . . " (Gen. 6:6). And when we don't see all of creation as one, as holy, when we don't have the same heart as the Creator to the Creation, what then? "We know that the whole creation is groaning in travail" (Rom. 8:22). We are joined together in holiness, and when we are not, we will continue to despair.
Franz Kafka said, "You can hold yourself back from the suffering of the world: this is something you are free to do. . . but perhaps precisely this holding back is the only suffering you might be able to avoid." The suffering that we all experience is more than a personal thing.
For any situation that I have gone through, I have found that most of the people I know have gone through similar experiences. Any loss that I have experienced, I see nature has been experiencing for generations. With that interconnectivity of shared suffering, with the acknowledgement that this experience is real (but not final) comes a release from fear. I am not alone. I am understood. This gives me the opportunity for a shared compassion and a chance to let go and flow.
The simple answer always seems to be the best. How do we move from our personal perspective to a larger point of view? Stay connected. It's not the difficulty that causes damage — it's running away from it, being afraid of it that cripples us. Seems that's been happening for quite awhile: "They hid from God among the trees of the garden. But God called to the man, 'Where are you?' He answered, ' . . .I was afraid . . .so I hid'" (Gen 3:8-10).
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands" (Isaiah 49: 15-16).
Our hurt, our pain, our sadness, our difficulty is the same as God's sadness, creation's pain, someone else's difficulty. Feeling that, we find the compassion to embrace the situation and not run from it or deny it. By reconnecting with the whole, the Source, we find that in our fear, we are not alone, in our anger, we are understood, and in our sadness we are received.
— — —
Anne E. Ulvestad is a freelance writer residing in Maryland. She has her masters in earth literacy, and is available for public lectures and group presentations on spirituality and the environment. Anne can be reached at {email anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com}anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com{/email}. © 2006 by Anne E. Ulvestad
— — —
UPI Religion & Spirituality Forum is a big tent for all expressions of faith and spirituality, neither excluding nor favoring any. All opinions expressed belong to the writer alone, and are not necessarily shared by UPI Religion & Spirituality Forum.
In his article, "Treasures in the Basement", Rabbi Feinstein writes of Rabbi Alter, a 19th century Hasidic master. Rabbi Alter speaks of God as the Oneness of all, saying that there is nothing else but God. All of creation is one, and therefore has the potential for holiness. What we see around us, the diversity of myriad wonders, can be viewed as individual beings, separate and distinct. We can delve deeply into the mysteries of each being, or into ourselves, and find we are all "glittering motes in a sunbeam." Or we can see the sun itself.
But where do we find the sun if not in each sunbeam? The true knowing of our Self is the finding of God within. The true knowing of others is the finding of God within. There is no separation. I "discovered" this truth some years ago in order to work through a difficult time of pain, separation and loss. When I looked at my own pain all I could do was drown in its overwhelming sadness. Only by connecting it to the whole was I comforted.
Rabbi Feinstein goes on to say that by looking within, one can find God, but only by living in this Light, by engaging in it, by seeing the sunbeam as a part of the Light, can this Loving Presence be translated into compassion for the world. If God truly is the Parent of all mankind, and we are a reflection of this Creator, then God's outlet for worldly compassion must come through us. In like manner, God's relief must come from us as well.
When I was a child I struggled with the concept of eternal damnation and hell. I just couldn't reconcile a God of love with damning anyone to hell for eternity. With a child's simple logic I assumed that if one person could love another, no matter how bad that other was (and surely his mother would love him), then wouldn't God do the same? And if someone loved the other they may punish him, but never for eternity.
How many parents say, "This hurts me more than it hurts you"? "And God was grieved that He had made man . . . " (Gen. 6:6). And when we don't see all of creation as one, as holy, when we don't have the same heart as the Creator to the Creation, what then? "We know that the whole creation is groaning in travail" (Rom. 8:22). We are joined together in holiness, and when we are not, we will continue to despair.
Franz Kafka said, "You can hold yourself back from the suffering of the world: this is something you are free to do. . . but perhaps precisely this holding back is the only suffering you might be able to avoid." The suffering that we all experience is more than a personal thing.
For any situation that I have gone through, I have found that most of the people I know have gone through similar experiences. Any loss that I have experienced, I see nature has been experiencing for generations. With that interconnectivity of shared suffering, with the acknowledgement that this experience is real (but not final) comes a release from fear. I am not alone. I am understood. This gives me the opportunity for a shared compassion and a chance to let go and flow.
The simple answer always seems to be the best. How do we move from our personal perspective to a larger point of view? Stay connected. It's not the difficulty that causes damage — it's running away from it, being afraid of it that cripples us. Seems that's been happening for quite awhile: "They hid from God among the trees of the garden. But God called to the man, 'Where are you?' He answered, ' . . .I was afraid . . .so I hid'" (Gen 3:8-10).
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands" (Isaiah 49: 15-16).
Our hurt, our pain, our sadness, our difficulty is the same as God's sadness, creation's pain, someone else's difficulty. Feeling that, we find the compassion to embrace the situation and not run from it or deny it. By reconnecting with the whole, the Source, we find that in our fear, we are not alone, in our anger, we are understood, and in our sadness we are received.
— — —
Anne E. Ulvestad is a freelance writer residing in Maryland. She has her masters in earth literacy, and is available for public lectures and group presentations on spirituality and the environment. Anne can be reached at {email anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com}anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com{/email}. © 2006 by Anne E. Ulvestad
UPI Religion & Spirituality Forum is a big tent for all expressions of faith and spirituality, neither excluding nor favoring any. All opinions expressed belong to the writer alone, and are not necessarily shared by UPI Religion & Spirituality Forum.