Developmentally, children spend their early years in life seeking validation from their parents. Our children need to feel loved unconditionally for who they are, not for what they have accomplished. This is especially important as our children face peer pressure.

Being accepted and loved for who they are can strengthen your relationship, enhance their self-worth, and fortify their moral character. Our children just want to be loved for who they are. I learned this lesson from my daughter several years ago.

It was a glorious spring morning as Riley and I sat on the back porch. The air was filled with the scent of wildflowers, and a cool breeze gently caressed our skin. As the morning sun dawned, so too did Riley's curiosity. Riley was a very inquisitive child, at four years old she often wondered about the why's and the how's of the world.

As we sat enjoying the serenity of daybreak Riley turned to me and asked "Mommy, why do you love me?"

I replied, "My sweet child, the reasons I love you are more numerous than the stars in the night sky." Although Riley was pleased by my words she was not satisfied with the answer.

She asked again, "Mommy why do you love me?"

I answered, "Beautiful child, the reasons that I love you are more abundant than the many faces of the moon."

Riley was beginning to get frustrated and said, "Mommy please tell me why you love me."

I thought for a moment, smiled and whispered, "My child, I love you for the wonder in your eyes, the tenderness in your heart, and the joy in your sweet smile." I continued, "I love you for the depth of your feelings, the wisdom of your words, and the innocence of your laughter. I took a deep breath and went on to say, "I love you for your glorious visions of the future and your dreams of making this world a better place."

Although she loved everything I had shared, she still was not satisfied with the answer. In an exasperated tone she yelled, "Mommy for the last time would you please tell me why you love me."

I was beginning to run out of answers when a simple thought came upon me. I leaned over and held my daughter in my arms and said, "Riley, I love you because you are you."

My daughter's face beamed with joy. This was the answer she had been searching for. She threw her arms around me and giggled, "Mommy I love you because you are you too."

At that moment we were completely connected. What a beautiful gift we shared on that spring morning. The gift of unconditional love filled our hearts and souls for many a day to come.

When was the last time you connected with your kids and told them you loved them for who they are? Make some time today and share some unconditional love with your children. Just think how this small act of love will empower them as they go out into the world.

May you and your children always know how loved and accepted you are.

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Debbie Milam is the co-creator of "Empowering Our Children: Creating Connected Families, Classrooms, and Communities " . She is an occupational therapist and life coach whose work has been featured in over 300 media outlets including The Miami Herald, Elle, Ladies Home Journal, PBS and The Hallmark Channel. Visit her website for more books and resources to help you be a highly effective parent. Visit her online at www.bestyoucanbe.org and sign up for her newsletter to receive your special report, "Creating Peace Within Yourself and Your Family." © Copyright 2008 Debbie Milam.

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