Thursday, September 7, 2006 at 2:02am
Journaling: a way to evolve
Column: Our Place in the Universe
I have said, maybe too many times, that I am not a writer. I'm not one of those prolific authors who can just sit down and let the words flow. It takes hours, even days, to write a few sentences, every one of them being pulled from my deepest heart. Because of this I have always been very cautious about showing my creative work to others, never feeling completely sure about the medium or my talent.
However, as I was led to the Earth Literacy graduate program I was also led to take photographs and couple them with poetry. This medium I felt comfortable with. It was one way of expressing my heart that I could freely share with others.
When the journaling assignment of my Evolution class was introduced, I just continued my photo/poetry as part of my journaling. I was drawn to it. I became enamored, almost obsessed with it. It was hard to do my written papers because I was spending so much time taking pictures. Not only that, I was, in some cases, combining them, recreating them, making them speak of my heart's desires. I was looking at them everyday, combing through the hundreds that I took, searching for that one that would fit the mood and the spirit that was in my head/heart/soul at the moment. Then I would agonize over the words, the right words that would express what I was feeling when the photo and I came together.
Occasionally, the longing to share my heart would be bigger than the photo and my poetry, and I had to share it with a friend. The more I created, the more I had to share. The very reason I was creating was to share my heart with others, to give them an opportunity to see what I was seeing, what brought me happiness. Perhaps it would bring them happiness too. That is what made it valuable to me. That is what answered the longing I had for community.
My next-door neighbor is a painter; she teaches art in elementary school, and has also taught in university. I am very fortunate to have her insight and encouragement, especially during the insecurity of my beginning days. She is the one who encouraged me to create a book from my journal pages. She is the one who cried when I presented her with the first copy, saying she would have to read it again and again before she created her own paintings.
What this journal did was give me an outlet to share with others in a way that I had never believed possible before. Coupling the journal with learning about evolution made it clear to me how the patterns of nature are reflected in my own life's evolution and maturation. That made it easier to express some of the lessons I was learning. This was my story, mirroring the creation story, taking place in my own backyard and the places that I visited.
The day I finished the journaling book my computer died, and along with it all of my photos and work. The only reason the book wasn't on the computer any more was because I was so enthralled with creating that I had obsessed all night to finish in order to have a copy ready in time for my aunt's 80th birthday — nearly a month before it was due for class. I had just written in the voice of the day lily about dying to myself in order to be aware, to be here for the moment, and yet be able to create something new for the future.
I agonized for a few days, trying to figure out what I had "done wrong," until I realized I didn't feel bad about the computer. Yes, I was sad; those photos were my friends, reflections of my heart. What I felt was that this was a time of new beginning. I felt that this was an opportunity to start fresh. My evolution was not in the creation of the book, but in the whole process of the creating itself.
This creating would continue, as photo/poetry or any other way I lived in relation with others. The important point was to be aware at every moment, and to be open to the unexpected, the miraculous, and the sacred in the everyday, ordinary occurrences of my life.
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Anne E. Ulvestad is a freelance writer residing in Maryland. She has her masters in earth literacy, and is available for public lectures and group presentations on Spirituality and the Environment. Anne can be reached at {email anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com}anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com{/email}. © copyright 2006 by Anne E. Ulvestad
— — —
ReligionAndSpirituality.com is a big tent for all expressions
of faith and spirituality, neither excluding nor favoring any.
All opinions expressed belong to the writer alone, and are
not necessarily shared by ReligionAndSpirituality.com.
However, as I was led to the Earth Literacy graduate program I was also led to take photographs and couple them with poetry. This medium I felt comfortable with. It was one way of expressing my heart that I could freely share with others.
When the journaling assignment of my Evolution class was introduced, I just continued my photo/poetry as part of my journaling. I was drawn to it. I became enamored, almost obsessed with it. It was hard to do my written papers because I was spending so much time taking pictures. Not only that, I was, in some cases, combining them, recreating them, making them speak of my heart's desires. I was looking at them everyday, combing through the hundreds that I took, searching for that one that would fit the mood and the spirit that was in my head/heart/soul at the moment. Then I would agonize over the words, the right words that would express what I was feeling when the photo and I came together.
Occasionally, the longing to share my heart would be bigger than the photo and my poetry, and I had to share it with a friend. The more I created, the more I had to share. The very reason I was creating was to share my heart with others, to give them an opportunity to see what I was seeing, what brought me happiness. Perhaps it would bring them happiness too. That is what made it valuable to me. That is what answered the longing I had for community.
My next-door neighbor is a painter; she teaches art in elementary school, and has also taught in university. I am very fortunate to have her insight and encouragement, especially during the insecurity of my beginning days. She is the one who encouraged me to create a book from my journal pages. She is the one who cried when I presented her with the first copy, saying she would have to read it again and again before she created her own paintings.
What this journal did was give me an outlet to share with others in a way that I had never believed possible before. Coupling the journal with learning about evolution made it clear to me how the patterns of nature are reflected in my own life's evolution and maturation. That made it easier to express some of the lessons I was learning. This was my story, mirroring the creation story, taking place in my own backyard and the places that I visited.
The day I finished the journaling book my computer died, and along with it all of my photos and work. The only reason the book wasn't on the computer any more was because I was so enthralled with creating that I had obsessed all night to finish in order to have a copy ready in time for my aunt's 80th birthday — nearly a month before it was due for class. I had just written in the voice of the day lily about dying to myself in order to be aware, to be here for the moment, and yet be able to create something new for the future.
I agonized for a few days, trying to figure out what I had "done wrong," until I realized I didn't feel bad about the computer. Yes, I was sad; those photos were my friends, reflections of my heart. What I felt was that this was a time of new beginning. I felt that this was an opportunity to start fresh. My evolution was not in the creation of the book, but in the whole process of the creating itself.
This creating would continue, as photo/poetry or any other way I lived in relation with others. The important point was to be aware at every moment, and to be open to the unexpected, the miraculous, and the sacred in the everyday, ordinary occurrences of my life.
— — —
Anne E. Ulvestad is a freelance writer residing in Maryland. She has her masters in earth literacy, and is available for public lectures and group presentations on Spirituality and the Environment. Anne can be reached at {email anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com}anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com{/email}. © copyright 2006 by Anne E. Ulvestad
ReligionAndSpirituality.com is a big tent for all expressions
of faith and spirituality, neither excluding nor favoring any.
All opinions expressed belong to the writer alone, and are
not necessarily shared by ReligionAndSpirituality.com.