Have the holidays become too commercial for you? Are you feeling empty and unfulfilled during this time of the year? By making some simple changes, you and your children can truly make the holidays more meaningful.

* Teach gratitude during the holidays

Gratitude should be not only for material presents but for the little blessings. Begin to have your children tell you each day three things for which they are grateful. This helps children understand the true meaning of the holidays in several ways. First, they begin to notice the little gifts that they sometimes take for granted — a butterfly, a sunny day, getting to sleep late. Secondly, once they notice these little gifts and are grateful for them, they can start bringing more of them into their awareness.

* Empower your family with tools to make the holidays more meaningful

Spend time discussing topics such as: What are you most grateful for? How can you make the world a better place? How can this holiday be more meaningful? What presents make you feel the best? Plan a "kind deed day," and see who can perform the most random acts of kindness. Write little spiritual notes and leave them in their lunchboxes.

* Learn and then teach the spiritual meaning behind your faith's traditions

Share with your children that candles are lit on Hanukkah to symbolize the light of the Creator in our lives. Explain that a wreath is a symbol of the eternal circle of life. Describe how the presents for Kwanzaa represent the deep connection between parents and children. Illustrate how the sun's return and warmth are celebrated during the Winter Solstice.

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or the Winter Solstice, share the beautiful miracles within each faith and then have your children share some of the miracles in their own lives.

* Celebrate differences

Attend a worship service of another faith with a friend or a family member. This exposes children to the marvelous ways in which we are more similar than different. For it is only when we embrace the differences that we truly can come together in unity.

* Give gifts from the heart

Write a story, a letter or a poem for your children. If you are artistic, paint a picture for them. Put together a photo album or scrapbook together. Record on audiotape your favorite family memories. Make a book of all the reasons you are grateful to have your loved ones in your life. Share a favorite childhood treasure that you saved, like a coin or a doll from your favorite collection. Finally, purchase gifts from charities that donate back to the community.

* Make community service and helping those who are less fortunate part of your family holiday activities

There are so many wonderful lessons when we give of ourselves to others. Have your children start or participate in a toy, clothing, or food drive for those less fortunate. By participating in charitable acts, your children can learn that they can make a difference in the life of another, that they have a purpose, and that they can be part of the solution.

* Slow down enough to enjoy the essence of your children and of the holidays

Our children remember the time and the energy shared as a family, not the gifts, the parties or how perfectly the house is decorated. Say no to commitments that are not going to serve the greater good of your family. As Kahlil Gibran said so eloquently in "The Prophet": "Our children are but ours for such a short time." Make this short time a time of wonder and reverence for your children to discover the true meaning of the holidays.

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Debbie Milam is the co-creator of "Empowering Our Children: Creating Connected Families, Classrooms, and Communities " . She is an occupational therapist and life coach whose work has been featured in over 300 media outlets including The Miami Herald, Elle, Ladies Home Journal, PBS and The Hallmark Channel. Visit her website for more books and resources to help you be a highly effective parent. Visit her online at www.bestyoucanbe.org and sign up for her newsletter to receive your special report, "Creating Peace Within Yourself and Your Family." © Copyright 2008 Debbie Milam.