Tuesday, January 2, 2007 at 12:12am
You can do it without resolutions
Column: Spiritual Parenting
A new year, a fresh start; for many, restored hope for a brighter tomorrow. As the clock strikes midnight, people around the world experience closure from the previous year and reignite their optimism for the upcoming 365 days. For many families, this renewed hopefulness leads to making unrealistic resolutions that no one can achieve. Our society has become so goal-oriented with New Year's resolutions that we forget about the process of growing through self-reflection.
The gifts gained from this contemplation will last far longer than any New Year's resolutions. Deep reflection as a family can create ties that bind through heartfelt communication and increased self-awareness. As a family, delving into the deep recesses of your heart can create a divine opportunity to assess the way all of you lived your lives and to shift your perspective to ways each of you can live with greater meaning.
A quiet cheerfulness filled our home on New Year's Day. A lazy morning of savoring breakfast, watching the Tivo version of "New Year's Rocking Eve" and enjoying each others' company made for a perfect morning. After breakfast our annual New Year's Day tradition began. Each year since my children were little, we would continue to contribute to the creation of our "Lives in Review" scrapbook. While our creative energies poured out on the pages, we spent time together talking about the triumphs and the tragedies of the year that passed.
Our scrapbook is so filled with love, memories and the significant events that create the fabric of our lives. This tradition is a living testimony to the love that we share as a family.
This simple yet profoundly life-affirming tradition is easy to implement. Simply gather your family. Get some brightly hued paper and a variety of colored markers. Put on some relaxing music and light a candle. Have each family member take a deep breath. As each of you breathes in, imagine you are filling your entire being with peace. As each of you releases the breath, have your family imagine they are letting go of all stress, worries, and negativity.
When your family is relaxed, begin writing down the following questions and answers. If you have young children, you can ask them the questions and designate another family member to write their answers. Remember there are no right or wrong responses, only answers that will allow you and your family to look deeply into your hearts and help all of you become who you are meant to be in 2007.
* Write down all the significant events in your life this past year.
* Was there more joy than sorrow?
* What was my favorite memory of 2006?
* What did I overcome this year?
* What are three things that bring me joy?
* What are three things that I am most excited about?
* What are three things that I am most grateful for?
* What have I learned from the experiences of this year?
* Whom or what do I need to forgive?
* Whom or what do I need to let go of?
* What can I do to improve my relationships with my family?
* What can I do to bring more peace into my life?
* What can I do to make the world a better place?
Throughout this new year, take time as a family to glance at what you have written, for it is the essence of your souls. It is your vision of the light you and your children can bring to our planet, and it can be a catalyst for great change.
May this New Year bring you and your family more laughter than tears, more blessings than challenges, more prosperity than scarcity, more health than illness, more love than loneliness, and may we all know peace on earth.
— — —
Debbie Milam is the co-creator of "Empowering Our Children: Creating Connected Families, Classrooms, and Communities " . She is an occupational therapist and life coach whose work has been featured in over 300 media outlets including The Miami Herald, Elle, Ladies Home Journal, PBS and The Hallmark Channel. Visit her website for more books and resources to help you be a highly effective parent. Visit her online at www.bestyoucanbe.org and sign up for her newsletter to receive your special report, "Creating Peace Within Yourself and Your Family." © Copyright 2008 Debbie Milam.
The gifts gained from this contemplation will last far longer than any New Year's resolutions. Deep reflection as a family can create ties that bind through heartfelt communication and increased self-awareness. As a family, delving into the deep recesses of your heart can create a divine opportunity to assess the way all of you lived your lives and to shift your perspective to ways each of you can live with greater meaning.
A quiet cheerfulness filled our home on New Year's Day. A lazy morning of savoring breakfast, watching the Tivo version of "New Year's Rocking Eve" and enjoying each others' company made for a perfect morning. After breakfast our annual New Year's Day tradition began. Each year since my children were little, we would continue to contribute to the creation of our "Lives in Review" scrapbook. While our creative energies poured out on the pages, we spent time together talking about the triumphs and the tragedies of the year that passed.
Our scrapbook is so filled with love, memories and the significant events that create the fabric of our lives. This tradition is a living testimony to the love that we share as a family.
This simple yet profoundly life-affirming tradition is easy to implement. Simply gather your family. Get some brightly hued paper and a variety of colored markers. Put on some relaxing music and light a candle. Have each family member take a deep breath. As each of you breathes in, imagine you are filling your entire being with peace. As each of you releases the breath, have your family imagine they are letting go of all stress, worries, and negativity.
When your family is relaxed, begin writing down the following questions and answers. If you have young children, you can ask them the questions and designate another family member to write their answers. Remember there are no right or wrong responses, only answers that will allow you and your family to look deeply into your hearts and help all of you become who you are meant to be in 2007.
* Write down all the significant events in your life this past year.
* Was there more joy than sorrow?
* What was my favorite memory of 2006?
* What did I overcome this year?
* What are three things that bring me joy?
* What are three things that I am most excited about?
* What are three things that I am most grateful for?
* What have I learned from the experiences of this year?
* Whom or what do I need to forgive?
* Whom or what do I need to let go of?
* What can I do to improve my relationships with my family?
* What can I do to bring more peace into my life?
* What can I do to make the world a better place?
Throughout this new year, take time as a family to glance at what you have written, for it is the essence of your souls. It is your vision of the light you and your children can bring to our planet, and it can be a catalyst for great change.
May this New Year bring you and your family more laughter than tears, more blessings than challenges, more prosperity than scarcity, more health than illness, more love than loneliness, and may we all know peace on earth.
— — —
Debbie Milam is the co-creator of "Empowering Our Children: Creating Connected Families, Classrooms, and Communities " . She is an occupational therapist and life coach whose work has been featured in over 300 media outlets including The Miami Herald, Elle, Ladies Home Journal, PBS and The Hallmark Channel. Visit her website for more books and resources to help you be a highly effective parent. Visit her online at www.bestyoucanbe.org and sign up for her newsletter to receive your special report, "Creating Peace Within Yourself and Your Family." © Copyright 2008 Debbie Milam.