Friday, January 26, 2007 at 2:02am
Get rooted on Australia Day
Column: Outing the Goddess Within
According to the Department of Immigration, Multiple Affairs and Long Lunches, nearly one in four of Australia's 20 million people was born overseas.
This is something worth thinking about today, on Australia Day. For those of us not hopping into Japanese cars to drive to Irish pubs, we're throwing British bangers on the barbie and chugging down Belgian beer while watching Chinese-manufactured fireworks on our Korean televisions. Of course, some of us are drinking Tasmanian beer, but that's because we are accepting of all cultures.
Even though Australia has a non-discriminatory immigration policy (which means that anyone from any country can apply to migrate, regardless of their ethnic origin, gender, color, religion, height, weight or penchant for Thai food), on Dec. 11, 2006, the prime minister announced that the Australian Government intends to introduce a formal citizenship test.
Well, there goes the fun for thousands of Australian travelers who thrive on the national sport of telling lies to gullible internationals.
Once foreigners start cramming for our entry test, they'll soon learn that no one rides to school in the pouch of a pet kangaroo. They'll catch on that not everyone owns a helicopter in order to visit the neighbors. And, they'll work out that a savvy American pretends to be Canadian — we love Canadians.
There are many other lies that I suspect will be exposed in the test. To make it easier, some questions could be reduced to True or False statements, herewith:
True or False: In Australia the compasses point south.
True or False: If you're planning a trip to New Zealand from Sydney, you can save on airfares by waiting for low tide and wading across.
True or False: Koalas make excellent babysitters.
True or False: Australia invented the Split Enz, Russell Crowe and Velcro gloves.
True or False: The capital of Australia is Broken Hill.
True or False: The 2006 winner of the annual Hobart to Antarctica Swim was Tammie van Wiess.
If you answered "False" to the last question, well done. Everyone knows the winner was Dame Edna Everage.
As for the other questions, if you answered "True" to any of them, it's time to start thinking a little more, well, how do I put this delicately? Bigger, more globally, more ... Gaia-like.
The ancient Romans believed every element in the universe, whether on land, in the sea or in the sky — even it was floating in a backyard pool in Australia — was a single living entity of Gaia, the primordial Great Mother.
She is our source of life, inherent wisdom and forms a common backyard to every home on the planet.
In other words, no matter where you live or travel, no matter what you eat or how you pray, no matter whom you marry or where you grew up, she is the one thing we all have in common. She is the Great Mother who connects us all, making us citizens of her one, global village.
So on Australia Day, no matter what your roots, lean over your back fence and say g'day to a neighbor for Gaia's sake. Just remember to remove your Velcro gloves first.
— — —
Anita Ryan-Revel is the author of "The Goddess Guide to Chakra Vitality," aimed at helping you connect with your beautiful, sassy, intuitive, lovable, sacred and authentic self. She has incorporated her journey into hundreds of articles, countless websites and numerous books, many of which can be found at her website, Goddess.com.au © copyright 2007 by Anita Ryan-Revel.
This is something worth thinking about today, on Australia Day. For those of us not hopping into Japanese cars to drive to Irish pubs, we're throwing British bangers on the barbie and chugging down Belgian beer while watching Chinese-manufactured fireworks on our Korean televisions. Of course, some of us are drinking Tasmanian beer, but that's because we are accepting of all cultures.
Even though Australia has a non-discriminatory immigration policy (which means that anyone from any country can apply to migrate, regardless of their ethnic origin, gender, color, religion, height, weight or penchant for Thai food), on Dec. 11, 2006, the prime minister announced that the Australian Government intends to introduce a formal citizenship test.
Well, there goes the fun for thousands of Australian travelers who thrive on the national sport of telling lies to gullible internationals.
Once foreigners start cramming for our entry test, they'll soon learn that no one rides to school in the pouch of a pet kangaroo. They'll catch on that not everyone owns a helicopter in order to visit the neighbors. And, they'll work out that a savvy American pretends to be Canadian — we love Canadians.
There are many other lies that I suspect will be exposed in the test. To make it easier, some questions could be reduced to True or False statements, herewith:
True or False: In Australia the compasses point south.
True or False: If you're planning a trip to New Zealand from Sydney, you can save on airfares by waiting for low tide and wading across.
True or False: Koalas make excellent babysitters.
True or False: Australia invented the Split Enz, Russell Crowe and Velcro gloves.
True or False: The capital of Australia is Broken Hill.
True or False: The 2006 winner of the annual Hobart to Antarctica Swim was Tammie van Wiess.
If you answered "False" to the last question, well done. Everyone knows the winner was Dame Edna Everage.
As for the other questions, if you answered "True" to any of them, it's time to start thinking a little more, well, how do I put this delicately? Bigger, more globally, more ... Gaia-like.
The ancient Romans believed every element in the universe, whether on land, in the sea or in the sky — even it was floating in a backyard pool in Australia — was a single living entity of Gaia, the primordial Great Mother.
She is our source of life, inherent wisdom and forms a common backyard to every home on the planet.
In other words, no matter where you live or travel, no matter what you eat or how you pray, no matter whom you marry or where you grew up, she is the one thing we all have in common. She is the Great Mother who connects us all, making us citizens of her one, global village.
So on Australia Day, no matter what your roots, lean over your back fence and say g'day to a neighbor for Gaia's sake. Just remember to remove your Velcro gloves first.
— — —
Anita Ryan-Revel is the author of "The Goddess Guide to Chakra Vitality," aimed at helping you connect with your beautiful, sassy, intuitive, lovable, sacred and authentic self. She has incorporated her journey into hundreds of articles, countless websites and numerous books, many of which can be found at her website, Goddess.com.au © copyright 2007 by Anita Ryan-Revel.