Friday, February 2, 2007 at 1:01am
The many faces of Hecate
Column: Outing the Goddess Within
As I told my InnerGoddess members last week, in a decision that has taken me, oh, 12 years to make, I am in the process of changing my name to better reflect who I have become.
Initially I drew on the shape-shifting and reinvention gifts of the goddess Hathor to find my new name, but in a moment I'll introduce you to Hecate — another prominent archetypal goddess guiding me in this decision.
Herewith is some background info into my rationale. (Shhhhh, don't tell anyone I used rationale — it might give me a bad reputation.)
When I was a maiden, I had my father's name. That name represents the happy-go-lucky, exploratory, sometimes awkward and often embarrassing years of my life.
Then came my first husband's name. I only changed my name to his in order to "meet social expectations." I look back now and realize the "social expectations" were simply my fear-of-judgment misleading me into decisions I was making for the sake of others and not for me.
Nevertheless, the surname "Ryan" represents 14 years of growing up, coming of age, a series of funky handbags and, most rewarding of all, being a mother to my gorgeous Boy Wonder.
Now I'm entering the beyond-mother stage. Yes, my son is still in high school and I'll be his mother for the rest of his life. However, he is growing out of his need to have the same surname as me. Furthermore, my second husband is also growing — out of patience, that is! He's tired of being called "Mr. Ryan" when we go to restaurants.
So you see, "Anita Ryan" is unsustainable on a personal level. It is a residue of a life that has served its purpose — a time of amazing and positive growth, mind you — but the time has come to adopt my "adult" name for life.
This is where I introduce you to the crone witch goddess Hecate. The goddess with three faces, she completes the goddess triad of the Maiden (Persephone), the Mother (Demeter) and the Wise Woman (Hecate). She walks between the seen and unseen world but resides in neither, carrying a flaming torch so she can see where other can't — into the human psyche. She is the one accompanying me now, guiding me with her torch, as I step into the goddess power I feel resonating in the name "Anita Revel."
Will my life change? Will people see me differently? Perhaps, perhaps not. But it does remind me of a story. Oh goody!
Once, a long time ago (in a galaxy far away back when I was a serial singleton), I was interested in finding out more about a single olive oil maker. I asked a friend (who knows everyone!) if she had any stats on this guy. She said, "Sure. He has a girlfriend and is the most painful vegetarian I've ever met."
It got me to thinking: If Mr. Olive Oil could be summed up by a) who he belongs to and b) his worst character trait, how were people summing me up? What was the "face" I was showing to the world?
My first instinct was to say "mother," but the implication was that I was a snot-monster-incubator and that I enjoyed slavery.
Next I described myself as a "devout career woman," but that implied I had no life outside work — people avoided me as the clock hit 5 p.m. in case I went into meltdown.
I could have said I was a "community member" or "diligent volunteer," but those had overtones that I was actually twice my age.
I thought I might like to be remembered as the "lady on the hill," but that made me sound like the mother in "Psycho." I could have said "ex-wife" or "serial singleton," but both statuses described who I did or didn't belong to. Or maybe I was just a sum total of all my pickup lines — an angel who fell from heaven, wondering if I come here often and with a thief of a father who stole the stars from the sky.
Hecate might have her three faces representing the three stages of life, but I came to realize that human beings have hundreds of faces. And we choose the appropriate face to wear at hundreds of different times in hundreds of different circumstances through each day.
Every day brings with it a new opportunity to start again; the chance to put on a face and blast headlong into the start of the rest of our lives. It is never too late to start writing your own story with whatever ending you choose for yourself.
Like I have done in choosing my new name. As a verb, "revel" means to celebrate with unrestrained merrymaking and great pleasure or delight. And this is certainly energy that I look forward to carrying forward with me from this point onward as I weave a merry dance back to a world-wild state of "goddess-ness."
Have you got a story to tell about your own name change? Share it here.
— — —
Anita Ryan-Revel is the creatrix of Goddess.com.au, a resource-rich site aimed at helping you connect with your beautiful, sassy, intuitive, lovable, sacred and authentic self. © copyright 2007 by Anita Ryan-Revel.
Initially I drew on the shape-shifting and reinvention gifts of the goddess Hathor to find my new name, but in a moment I'll introduce you to Hecate — another prominent archetypal goddess guiding me in this decision.
Herewith is some background info into my rationale. (Shhhhh, don't tell anyone I used rationale — it might give me a bad reputation.)
When I was a maiden, I had my father's name. That name represents the happy-go-lucky, exploratory, sometimes awkward and often embarrassing years of my life.
Then came my first husband's name. I only changed my name to his in order to "meet social expectations." I look back now and realize the "social expectations" were simply my fear-of-judgment misleading me into decisions I was making for the sake of others and not for me.
Nevertheless, the surname "Ryan" represents 14 years of growing up, coming of age, a series of funky handbags and, most rewarding of all, being a mother to my gorgeous Boy Wonder.
Now I'm entering the beyond-mother stage. Yes, my son is still in high school and I'll be his mother for the rest of his life. However, he is growing out of his need to have the same surname as me. Furthermore, my second husband is also growing — out of patience, that is! He's tired of being called "Mr. Ryan" when we go to restaurants.
So you see, "Anita Ryan" is unsustainable on a personal level. It is a residue of a life that has served its purpose — a time of amazing and positive growth, mind you — but the time has come to adopt my "adult" name for life.
This is where I introduce you to the crone witch goddess Hecate. The goddess with three faces, she completes the goddess triad of the Maiden (Persephone), the Mother (Demeter) and the Wise Woman (Hecate). She walks between the seen and unseen world but resides in neither, carrying a flaming torch so she can see where other can't — into the human psyche. She is the one accompanying me now, guiding me with her torch, as I step into the goddess power I feel resonating in the name "Anita Revel."
Will my life change? Will people see me differently? Perhaps, perhaps not. But it does remind me of a story. Oh goody!
Once, a long time ago (in a galaxy far away back when I was a serial singleton), I was interested in finding out more about a single olive oil maker. I asked a friend (who knows everyone!) if she had any stats on this guy. She said, "Sure. He has a girlfriend and is the most painful vegetarian I've ever met."
It got me to thinking: If Mr. Olive Oil could be summed up by a) who he belongs to and b) his worst character trait, how were people summing me up? What was the "face" I was showing to the world?
My first instinct was to say "mother," but the implication was that I was a snot-monster-incubator and that I enjoyed slavery.
Next I described myself as a "devout career woman," but that implied I had no life outside work — people avoided me as the clock hit 5 p.m. in case I went into meltdown.
I could have said I was a "community member" or "diligent volunteer," but those had overtones that I was actually twice my age.
I thought I might like to be remembered as the "lady on the hill," but that made me sound like the mother in "Psycho." I could have said "ex-wife" or "serial singleton," but both statuses described who I did or didn't belong to. Or maybe I was just a sum total of all my pickup lines — an angel who fell from heaven, wondering if I come here often and with a thief of a father who stole the stars from the sky.
Hecate might have her three faces representing the three stages of life, but I came to realize that human beings have hundreds of faces. And we choose the appropriate face to wear at hundreds of different times in hundreds of different circumstances through each day.
Every day brings with it a new opportunity to start again; the chance to put on a face and blast headlong into the start of the rest of our lives. It is never too late to start writing your own story with whatever ending you choose for yourself.
Like I have done in choosing my new name. As a verb, "revel" means to celebrate with unrestrained merrymaking and great pleasure or delight. And this is certainly energy that I look forward to carrying forward with me from this point onward as I weave a merry dance back to a world-wild state of "goddess-ness."
Have you got a story to tell about your own name change? Share it here.
— — —
Anita Ryan-Revel is the creatrix of Goddess.com.au, a resource-rich site aimed at helping you connect with your beautiful, sassy, intuitive, lovable, sacred and authentic self. © copyright 2007 by Anita Ryan-Revel.