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Posted: February 23rd, 2007 at 2:32am By: Anita Revel
How many people does it take to move house? The answer is 1,001. One woman to manage the whole process, and the other 1,000 to calm her down.
Moving house is in the Top 3 sources of stress, the other two being the death of a loved one and, in my case at least, blocked shower drains.
I'm talking about this because I moved house last week and I'm still fending off talk of divorce and aneurysms.
I was so stressed, I even spent time surfing The International Stress Management Association — a registered charity that promotes sound knowledge and best practice in the prevention and reduction of human stress. If that's the case, where are their shower-cleaning services?
There was one day when I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel (yes, I remembered where I'd packed the flashlight), but it went out (I forget where I'd packed the batteries). Then, just as I thought my days couldn't get any darker, along comes the mother lode of all sources of stress: Coping Without Broadband.
Now, some of you might say the lack of money or getting sacked might be the most stressful thing that can happen to you. But consider this, my friends: NO INTERNET CONNECTION! Imagine that? NO INTERNET FOR DAYS AND DAYS AND DAYS!
It's enough to make one wonder how to cope with a real, live, verbal conversation. Or how to write a hand-written thank-you note. Or, for that matter, how to go window-shopping without a mouse, scour auctions in 3D, Google-stalk without Google, or have cyber-sex without your partner seeing your wobbly bits.
As if that's not enough to cause me to blow a gasket, here's some more fodder for the stress bucket: Trying to Find a Human at an Internet Company's Help Desk.
This problem is so prolific (and not just with Internet providers), a Boston-based dude called Paul English set up a pretty nifty resource called the Get Human Project. His mission is to find real humans at faceless companies in order to improve the quality of phone support in the USA.
Seeing his work and that of his volunteers made me think about the Greek goddess Demeter. According to Greek mythology, she got more than a little peeved when her daughter Persephone was abducted by Hades, god of the Underworld (the Underworld being an ancient version of a modern-day conglomerate).
Demeter's search for her lost daughter took her on the path of poverty, abuse and eventually madness. She neither ate nor slept, she roamed land and sea and refused to give Persephone up for lost. But, her perseverance and determination paid off in the end — as truly devoted motherhood always does.
Armed with Demeter's determination and the support of over 1 million Get Human consumers, I picked up the phone (again and again and again and again and again) until I finally got through to the Help Desk at Dodo.com.au. Too bad I was answered with a recording.
"Your call is important to us," it said. (You know the drill). "Your call will be answered within 24 hours," it goes on to say. Pity it couldn't hear me wishing them a peak-hour transmission failure on the freeway, armpit infestations from the fleas of a thousand camels, and many other nasty things (some involving red-hot pokers).
My Fiji-Indian friend taught me an Indian expression for times like this: "If you can't scoop the fat from the pot with a spoon, use your finger."
Well, I used my finger, all right. I used it to ring the Dodo.com.au main number again. But this time, instead of pressing "3" for tech support, I pressed "1" for sales.
Funny how I was able to find a human within three phone rings this time. With customer service like this, it's time to go the way of your namesake, Dodo!
This gave me an idea. I used my finger again. This time I dialed another service provider, and (as expected) was signed up with a new account within minutes. Ahhhh, bliss!
Well, anyway, what I learned is that on one hand, the only real stress-free environment is the grave. But on the other hand, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. So be grateful for the occasional reminder calls that we're still alive — just make sure you answer the phone when the calls come in.
— — —
Anita Ryan-Revel is the creatrix of ChakraGoddess.com — an info-rich website full of tips for achieving chakra vitality. Anita has incorporated her expertise and passion into various books, magazines, articles and products that can be found sprinkled across the Internet and in retail stores worldwide. © copyright 2007 by Anita Ryan-Revel.
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How many people does it take to move house? The answer is 1,001. One woman to manage the whole process, and the other 1,000 to calm her down.
Moving house is in the Top 3 sources of stress, the other two being the death of a loved one and, in my case at least, blocked shower drains.
I'm talking about this because I moved house last week and I'm still fending off talk of divorce and aneurysms.
I was so stressed, I even spent time surfing The International Stress Management Association — a registered charity that promotes sound knowledge and best practice in the prevention and reduction of human stress. If that's the case, where are their shower-cleaning services?
There was one day when I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel (yes, I remembered where I'd packed the flashlight), but it went out (I forget where I'd packed the batteries). Then, just as I thought my days couldn't get any darker, along comes the mother lode of all sources of stress: Coping Without Broadband.
Now, some of you might say the lack of money or getting sacked might be the most stressful thing that can happen to you. But consider this, my friends: NO INTERNET CONNECTION! Imagine that? NO INTERNET FOR DAYS AND DAYS AND DAYS!
It's enough to make one wonder how to cope with a real, live, verbal conversation. Or how to write a hand-written thank-you note. Or, for that matter, how to go window-shopping without a mouse, scour auctions in 3D, Google-stalk without Google, or have cyber-sex without your partner seeing your wobbly bits.
As if that's not enough to cause me to blow a gasket, here's some more fodder for the stress bucket: Trying to Find a Human at an Internet Company's Help Desk.
This problem is so prolific (and not just with Internet providers), a Boston-based dude called Paul English set up a pretty nifty resource called the Get Human Project. His mission is to find real humans at faceless companies in order to improve the quality of phone support in the USA.
Seeing his work and that of his volunteers made me think about the Greek goddess Demeter. According to Greek mythology, she got more than a little peeved when her daughter Persephone was abducted by Hades, god of the Underworld (the Underworld being an ancient version of a modern-day conglomerate).
Demeter's search for her lost daughter took her on the path of poverty, abuse and eventually madness. She neither ate nor slept, she roamed land and sea and refused to give Persephone up for lost. But, her perseverance and determination paid off in the end — as truly devoted motherhood always does.
Armed with Demeter's determination and the support of over 1 million Get Human consumers, I picked up the phone (again and again and again and again and again) until I finally got through to the Help Desk at Dodo.com.au. Too bad I was answered with a recording.
"Your call is important to us," it said. (You know the drill). "Your call will be answered within 24 hours," it goes on to say. Pity it couldn't hear me wishing them a peak-hour transmission failure on the freeway, armpit infestations from the fleas of a thousand camels, and many other nasty things (some involving red-hot pokers).
My Fiji-Indian friend taught me an Indian expression for times like this: "If you can't scoop the fat from the pot with a spoon, use your finger."
Well, I used my finger, all right. I used it to ring the Dodo.com.au main number again. But this time, instead of pressing "3" for tech support, I pressed "1" for sales.
Funny how I was able to find a human within three phone rings this time. With customer service like this, it's time to go the way of your namesake, Dodo!
This gave me an idea. I used my finger again. This time I dialed another service provider, and (as expected) was signed up with a new account within minutes. Ahhhh, bliss!
Well, anyway, what I learned is that on one hand, the only real stress-free environment is the grave. But on the other hand, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. So be grateful for the occasional reminder calls that we're still alive — just make sure you answer the phone when the calls come in.
— — —
Anita Ryan-Revel is the creatrix of ChakraGoddess.com — an info-rich website full of tips for achieving chakra vitality. Anita has incorporated her expertise and passion into various books, magazines, articles and products that can be found sprinkled across the Internet and in retail stores worldwide. © copyright 2007 by Anita Ryan-Revel.
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