Friday, March 30, 2007 at 2:02am
Love: relational, situational, evolutionary
Column: Our Place in the Universe
We're working on our emergency procedures plan. After 9/11 the fear, and the need, pushed many to start planning in case of another catastrophe. At our school, the top man talked to the top man of a retirement home and made a plan. Whether it will be adequate or useful will not ultimately depend on the top, but on how a few of us implement it, and how all of us respond.
Change, or growth, is sometimes like that — the big picture or direction is out of our control, and we just have to make do with what we're given. At times, it is even the disaster itself that elicits the change, giving us neither warning nor flexibility in our responses. Yet it is our responses that reflect our resourcefulness and our creativity.
Then there are the times that we get a chance to choose change for ourselves. My boss keeps reminding me that I chose to have my young man come live with us and must cope with the consequences. For those of you who have not been following, I have acquired a 14-year-old who came from overseas to begin school in the States. As I have said, I like to mix things up.
This kind of chaos has strengthened my resiliency, my patience and my ability to look at things from all different directions. But then again, I'm a Libra and I like to see all sides, so there is a method to my madness. Yes, that's exactly right! Seeing the order in chaos (method in madness) often takes time that we are loath to invest.
In fact, one of the mantras to deal with today's hectic society is to live in the moment. When the Buddha was asked, "Sir, what do you and your monks practice?" he replied, "We sit, we walk and we eat." The questioner continued, "But sir, everyone sits, walks and eats," and the Buddha told him: "When we sit, we know we are sitting. When we walk, we know we are walking. When we eat, we know we are eating" ("Living Buddha, Living Christ" by Thich Nhat Hanh).
How can this seeming paradox elicit peace and tranquillity when it is the moment that reflects the unpredictability of chaos? Rather, order emerges when one watches a system develop over time. Perhaps it is only true that peace cannot come, when it is the moment that we try to control. In effect, we are stopping time, rather than flowing, moment by moment, within it. Stopping the flow simply creates more chaos.
A similar paradox can be seen within the duality of individual vs. whole. Individualism will only separate us when we use it to control our surroundings, including ourselves and others, rather than to transform them. Carl Jung wrote: "The great events of world history are, at bottom, profoundly unimportant. The essential thing is the life of the individual. ... Here alone do the great transformations first take place, and the whole future, the whole history of the world, ultimately springs as a gigantic summation from these hidden sources in individuals."
And now to get to the topic that I wanted to share about — love. How do I expand my perception of love? Love has been a source of chaos ever since that figurative Fall of Man. Is love an issue of control? Is God the Almighty passing judgment, controlling our destiny toward Heaven or Hell? Am I a parent controlling my child in order to teach goodness and kindness? Or is love dynamic, like that flow of moments — relational, situational and evolutionary?
A child who loved her parents was a child who was expected to obey them. A religious person was one who obeyed God and/or the church and followed its precepts. A faithful employee was one who was dutiful and compliant. Our language is changing now, along with our perceptions. Cooperation and responsibility are replacing power and control. Nature has taught us that diversity and interdependency are a creative orchestration of life that begins with me and keeps on going.
So, today, co-create a change — look in the mirror and experience your uniqueness. Then consciously choose to collaborate in change: Pick up some trash, offer a hug or just smile.
— — —
Anne E. Ulvestad is a free-lance writer residing in Maryland. She has her masters in earth literacy, and is available for public lectures and group presentations and rituals on Spirituality and the Environment. Anne can be reached at {email anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com}anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com{/email}. © copyright 2007 by Anne E. Ulvestad
Change, or growth, is sometimes like that — the big picture or direction is out of our control, and we just have to make do with what we're given. At times, it is even the disaster itself that elicits the change, giving us neither warning nor flexibility in our responses. Yet it is our responses that reflect our resourcefulness and our creativity.
Then there are the times that we get a chance to choose change for ourselves. My boss keeps reminding me that I chose to have my young man come live with us and must cope with the consequences. For those of you who have not been following, I have acquired a 14-year-old who came from overseas to begin school in the States. As I have said, I like to mix things up.
This kind of chaos has strengthened my resiliency, my patience and my ability to look at things from all different directions. But then again, I'm a Libra and I like to see all sides, so there is a method to my madness. Yes, that's exactly right! Seeing the order in chaos (method in madness) often takes time that we are loath to invest.
In fact, one of the mantras to deal with today's hectic society is to live in the moment. When the Buddha was asked, "Sir, what do you and your monks practice?" he replied, "We sit, we walk and we eat." The questioner continued, "But sir, everyone sits, walks and eats," and the Buddha told him: "When we sit, we know we are sitting. When we walk, we know we are walking. When we eat, we know we are eating" ("Living Buddha, Living Christ" by Thich Nhat Hanh).
How can this seeming paradox elicit peace and tranquillity when it is the moment that reflects the unpredictability of chaos? Rather, order emerges when one watches a system develop over time. Perhaps it is only true that peace cannot come, when it is the moment that we try to control. In effect, we are stopping time, rather than flowing, moment by moment, within it. Stopping the flow simply creates more chaos.
A similar paradox can be seen within the duality of individual vs. whole. Individualism will only separate us when we use it to control our surroundings, including ourselves and others, rather than to transform them. Carl Jung wrote: "The great events of world history are, at bottom, profoundly unimportant. The essential thing is the life of the individual. ... Here alone do the great transformations first take place, and the whole future, the whole history of the world, ultimately springs as a gigantic summation from these hidden sources in individuals."
And now to get to the topic that I wanted to share about — love. How do I expand my perception of love? Love has been a source of chaos ever since that figurative Fall of Man. Is love an issue of control? Is God the Almighty passing judgment, controlling our destiny toward Heaven or Hell? Am I a parent controlling my child in order to teach goodness and kindness? Or is love dynamic, like that flow of moments — relational, situational and evolutionary?
A child who loved her parents was a child who was expected to obey them. A religious person was one who obeyed God and/or the church and followed its precepts. A faithful employee was one who was dutiful and compliant. Our language is changing now, along with our perceptions. Cooperation and responsibility are replacing power and control. Nature has taught us that diversity and interdependency are a creative orchestration of life that begins with me and keeps on going.
So, today, co-create a change — look in the mirror and experience your uniqueness. Then consciously choose to collaborate in change: Pick up some trash, offer a hug or just smile.
— — —
Anne E. Ulvestad is a free-lance writer residing in Maryland. She has her masters in earth literacy, and is available for public lectures and group presentations and rituals on Spirituality and the Environment. Anne can be reached at {email anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com}anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com{/email}. © copyright 2007 by Anne E. Ulvestad