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Posted: June 7th, 2007 at 12:30am By: Joyce Shafer
A new friend recently commented how balanced I am in regard to certain matters, how I don't worry about anything. After I stopped laughing, I told him what he hadn't witnessed was the process I go through that could allow him to make such a statement.
Fred Astaire made his art as a dancer appear effortless because of hours and hours (and more hours) of practice in front of mirrors. It's the same for me, just a different kind of dance and mirrors. I respond and react to matters just like any person might, even if just at the inner level. It's what I do afterward that presents the "effortless" qualities my friend observed, like seeing someone in good shape without considering their exercise routine, nutritional habits and supplements, and so forth.
Using the idea that an undesired event occurs, a typical process for me might look like this:
Something pops into my life, something I might not have bid on at an auction. Now what? The first thing I do is feel what I feel about it as opposed to denying the feelings, which would create additional chaos. Then, I kick-start the process as follows:
- I take it for granted that this matter is a result of a thought, especially an emotionally charged thought, belief or assumption. If I claim it as mine, my personal power is energized.
- I seek to identify the trigger thought so I can note what kind of outcome it creates and adjust it.
- As soon as possible, I calm my emotions and thoughts so I can take right action, even if the right action is to do nothing (that sometimes happens), or wait until I absolutely know what to do.
- I trust that everything has a purpose. It's up to me to seek it out so I know how to use it to learn and grow from it.
- I remind myself that a relaxed, trusting state of being attracts more of what I'd prefer. Worry changes nothing and attracts more things to worry about. As is said, "Worry is energy focused on something that hasn't happened." A real problem can be solved, an imaginary one cannot.
- If everything in my life is a result of something I thought, believed or did, then I look for a way to do it differently. I fine-tune my beliefs so they resonate and attract what I choose. (Clue: What I ultimately choose is to feel a certain way, no matter what.)
It's important that as we work through our processes, we don't expend our energy talking about it to anyone who will listen. It's best if we share our process with only one or a few chosen people who believe in us. I'd rather my support team be those who say, "I'm eager to see what she does with this," rather than, "She's just not doing well at all." The former attracts the right energy, the latter does not. As a rule, a person who arrives at the ability to attain a state of inner and outer serenity has gone through a heck of a lot of "opportunities" to learn why it's important to master the tools to do so.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Mastery of one's life is not necessarily about eliminating what we perceive as negative aspects of ourselves. It's about owning them, getting to know them intimately so we can manage them and ourselves, so we feel the way we choose to feel more often than not.
Dance as though no one is watching.
— — —
Joyce Shafer is a life empowerment coach and author of "I Don't Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say," as well as "How to Have What You Really Want" and contributor of articles to various publications. She has an eclectic background and focuses on learning, growing, and sharing information at every opportunity. She can be emailed at {email jls1422@yahoo.com}jls1422@yahoo.com{/email}. © copyright 2007 by Joyce Shafer.
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A new friend recently commented how balanced I am in regard to certain matters, how I don't worry about anything. After I stopped laughing, I told him what he hadn't witnessed was the process I go through that could allow him to make such a statement.
Fred Astaire made his art as a dancer appear effortless because of hours and hours (and more hours) of practice in front of mirrors. It's the same for me, just a different kind of dance and mirrors. I respond and react to matters just like any person might, even if just at the inner level. It's what I do afterward that presents the "effortless" qualities my friend observed, like seeing someone in good shape without considering their exercise routine, nutritional habits and supplements, and so forth.
Using the idea that an undesired event occurs, a typical process for me might look like this:
Something pops into my life, something I might not have bid on at an auction. Now what? The first thing I do is feel what I feel about it as opposed to denying the feelings, which would create additional chaos. Then, I kick-start the process as follows:
- I take it for granted that this matter is a result of a thought, especially an emotionally charged thought, belief or assumption. If I claim it as mine, my personal power is energized.
- I seek to identify the trigger thought so I can note what kind of outcome it creates and adjust it.
- As soon as possible, I calm my emotions and thoughts so I can take right action, even if the right action is to do nothing (that sometimes happens), or wait until I absolutely know what to do.
- I trust that everything has a purpose. It's up to me to seek it out so I know how to use it to learn and grow from it.
- I remind myself that a relaxed, trusting state of being attracts more of what I'd prefer. Worry changes nothing and attracts more things to worry about. As is said, "Worry is energy focused on something that hasn't happened." A real problem can be solved, an imaginary one cannot.
- If everything in my life is a result of something I thought, believed or did, then I look for a way to do it differently. I fine-tune my beliefs so they resonate and attract what I choose. (Clue: What I ultimately choose is to feel a certain way, no matter what.)
It's important that as we work through our processes, we don't expend our energy talking about it to anyone who will listen. It's best if we share our process with only one or a few chosen people who believe in us. I'd rather my support team be those who say, "I'm eager to see what she does with this," rather than, "She's just not doing well at all." The former attracts the right energy, the latter does not. As a rule, a person who arrives at the ability to attain a state of inner and outer serenity has gone through a heck of a lot of "opportunities" to learn why it's important to master the tools to do so.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Mastery of one's life is not necessarily about eliminating what we perceive as negative aspects of ourselves. It's about owning them, getting to know them intimately so we can manage them and ourselves, so we feel the way we choose to feel more often than not.
Dance as though no one is watching.
— — —
Joyce Shafer is a life empowerment coach and author of "I Don't Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say," as well as "How to Have What You Really Want" and contributor of articles to various publications. She has an eclectic background and focuses on learning, growing, and sharing information at every opportunity. She can be emailed at {email jls1422@yahoo.com}jls1422@yahoo.com{/email}. © copyright 2007 by Joyce Shafer.
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