Monday, June 18, 2007 at 12:12am
Can pornography be spiritual?
Column: Love, God and Sex
I rented a porn tape the other day. It was time. I had spent so much of my creative juices on writing that I had none left for nookie. So I stopped in to my local video rental store and headed for the Adults Only room.
As soon as I shut the door behind me, I regretted my decision. Hundreds of sleazy DVD covers lined the shelves. Although the owner of the store had previously told me that he has many women customers renting adult DVDs, and that he judged no one, my guilt-prone mind wanted to make sure I didn't pick something "too perverted," because, after all, what would he think?
The video I picked was a "Da Vinci Code" spoof called the "Da Vinci Load." I made sure that the actors were American porn stars who had freely chosen their vocation. The film was made in the style of classic porn from the 1970s — meaning that it had a plot. It also had a sense of humor.
If this particular video is any evidence, people who write porn have learned about spirituality. I'm serious! The lines that had me cracking up had to do with spouting the theory that only certain men were worthy of having sex with because they had "ejaculatory divineness." It offered advice to women to pay attention to a man's spirituality and his chi. It went on to say that at the moment of orgasm men can know God and have access to divine knowledge. "At that moment you will see all kinds of visions; even God himself," espouses one of the female characters.
These lines made me laugh so hard that I forgot why I rented the video in the first place. I thought that God really does work in mysterious ways. Who knew that a romp with porn would turn out to be another lesson in spiritual truths? I was laughing so hard that my stomach hurt and tears rolled down my cheeks. My mission to spiritualize sex and help couples keep their sexual spark going was getting major help from the universe.
I do not know whether the producers, writers or actors had ever read about Tantra or mystical teachings. It could be they did, or it could be that spiritual lingo has so pervaded the culture that they were just spewing concepts they'd heard through the proverbial grapevine. The video's spirituality stopped with the dialogue. The rest of it was standard "if you've seen one, you've seen them all" fare.
Yet I couldn't help but think that maybe the porn industry is "getting it." Maybe meaningless empty sex is being replaced by the deeper awareness that sex is sacred. A line about how "ejaculatory divineness" will bring peace and harmony to the world was hysterically funny. And yet the line reminds of me of something my editor said over a year ago: World peace begins in the bedroom.
Two articles I read last week point to the need to promote sacred sex among married couples. The first article reported the results of a research study of 15,000 married couples in Germany. According to the study, the feeling of newlywed bliss lasts for only the first year of marriage. A second research paper reported that a happy marriage is dependent on accepting that life also has periods of unhappiness.
I'm still convinced that marriage is a spiritual path, and that sex within the context of marriage allows for deeper and deeper experiences of our divine nature. But learning how to be in a loving relationship is not something we're taught, and "happily ever after" requires some introspective work.
What bothers me, though, is that sex is so easily accessible, to a certain extent it has become meaningless. The human connection for which people are really looking is obscured.
The Eastern mystic Osho says that in Tantric practices, couples who marry are not allowed to have sex until the man can look at his wife's naked body and see her goddess-nature; only when he has no physical desire but only experiences awe in her presence, can he then make love to her.
Both my lagging libido and my sense of humor were helped with a dose of light-hearted porn. Larry and I both had a great laugh over the pseudo-spiritual dialogue of "Da Vinci Load," which led to a thoroughly enjoyable evening.
I'm probably being extremely idealistic to think that pornography can promote spiritual awareness in married couples, although there are a lot of Tantric sex videos on the market. The main difference I've seen between the Tantric videos and commercial porn is that Tantric videos are not concerned with the man's ejaculation at all. They're concerned in the art of prolonging pleasure. Some men may think that not having an orgasm misses the point.
For those men I'd recommend the "Da Vinci Load." In its own prurient way, and with great humor, it's introducing the idea that at the moment of orgasm they're with God. Perhaps that thought is enough to start men on a path to greater spiritual awareness and greater intimacy with their wives.
— — —
Dr. Sorah Dubitsky, Ph.D., is an author, speaker, teacher and healer. She conducts workshops and seminars on love, marriage, sexuality and spirituality as well as offers individual and couples counseling. She is also a fellow at Florida International University's Center for the Study of Spirituality. Her book "A Chorus of Wisdom" is available at Amazon.com and all major online and retail book outlets. Visit her website and her blog, Healing Relationships. Send an email to {email dr.sorah@drsorah.com}dr.sorah@drsorah.com{/email}. © copyright 2007 by Dr. Sorah Dubitsky.
As soon as I shut the door behind me, I regretted my decision. Hundreds of sleazy DVD covers lined the shelves. Although the owner of the store had previously told me that he has many women customers renting adult DVDs, and that he judged no one, my guilt-prone mind wanted to make sure I didn't pick something "too perverted," because, after all, what would he think?
The video I picked was a "Da Vinci Code" spoof called the "Da Vinci Load." I made sure that the actors were American porn stars who had freely chosen their vocation. The film was made in the style of classic porn from the 1970s — meaning that it had a plot. It also had a sense of humor.
If this particular video is any evidence, people who write porn have learned about spirituality. I'm serious! The lines that had me cracking up had to do with spouting the theory that only certain men were worthy of having sex with because they had "ejaculatory divineness." It offered advice to women to pay attention to a man's spirituality and his chi. It went on to say that at the moment of orgasm men can know God and have access to divine knowledge. "At that moment you will see all kinds of visions; even God himself," espouses one of the female characters.
These lines made me laugh so hard that I forgot why I rented the video in the first place. I thought that God really does work in mysterious ways. Who knew that a romp with porn would turn out to be another lesson in spiritual truths? I was laughing so hard that my stomach hurt and tears rolled down my cheeks. My mission to spiritualize sex and help couples keep their sexual spark going was getting major help from the universe.
I do not know whether the producers, writers or actors had ever read about Tantra or mystical teachings. It could be they did, or it could be that spiritual lingo has so pervaded the culture that they were just spewing concepts they'd heard through the proverbial grapevine. The video's spirituality stopped with the dialogue. The rest of it was standard "if you've seen one, you've seen them all" fare.
Yet I couldn't help but think that maybe the porn industry is "getting it." Maybe meaningless empty sex is being replaced by the deeper awareness that sex is sacred. A line about how "ejaculatory divineness" will bring peace and harmony to the world was hysterically funny. And yet the line reminds of me of something my editor said over a year ago: World peace begins in the bedroom.
Two articles I read last week point to the need to promote sacred sex among married couples. The first article reported the results of a research study of 15,000 married couples in Germany. According to the study, the feeling of newlywed bliss lasts for only the first year of marriage. A second research paper reported that a happy marriage is dependent on accepting that life also has periods of unhappiness.
I'm still convinced that marriage is a spiritual path, and that sex within the context of marriage allows for deeper and deeper experiences of our divine nature. But learning how to be in a loving relationship is not something we're taught, and "happily ever after" requires some introspective work.
What bothers me, though, is that sex is so easily accessible, to a certain extent it has become meaningless. The human connection for which people are really looking is obscured.
The Eastern mystic Osho says that in Tantric practices, couples who marry are not allowed to have sex until the man can look at his wife's naked body and see her goddess-nature; only when he has no physical desire but only experiences awe in her presence, can he then make love to her.
Both my lagging libido and my sense of humor were helped with a dose of light-hearted porn. Larry and I both had a great laugh over the pseudo-spiritual dialogue of "Da Vinci Load," which led to a thoroughly enjoyable evening.
I'm probably being extremely idealistic to think that pornography can promote spiritual awareness in married couples, although there are a lot of Tantric sex videos on the market. The main difference I've seen between the Tantric videos and commercial porn is that Tantric videos are not concerned with the man's ejaculation at all. They're concerned in the art of prolonging pleasure. Some men may think that not having an orgasm misses the point.
For those men I'd recommend the "Da Vinci Load." In its own prurient way, and with great humor, it's introducing the idea that at the moment of orgasm they're with God. Perhaps that thought is enough to start men on a path to greater spiritual awareness and greater intimacy with their wives.
— — —
Dr. Sorah Dubitsky, Ph.D., is an author, speaker, teacher and healer. She conducts workshops and seminars on love, marriage, sexuality and spirituality as well as offers individual and couples counseling. She is also a fellow at Florida International University's Center for the Study of Spirituality. Her book "A Chorus of Wisdom" is available at Amazon.com and all major online and retail book outlets. Visit her website and her blog, Healing Relationships. Send an email to {email dr.sorah@drsorah.com}dr.sorah@drsorah.com{/email}. © copyright 2007 by Dr. Sorah Dubitsky.