Thursday, September 6, 2007 at 12:12am
My life
Column: Our Place in the Universe
My life has been a series of coincidences that I prefer to see as serendipitous steps toward growth. If I look at all the pieces, they seem random and disconnected. However, it is only now that I have come to appreciate the uniqueness of each step. The secret is not just seeing the details, but seeing them as connected, as part and parcel of the whole. This makes me think of how my life and my experiences have fit together so nicely.
When I was 5, I announced that I would be a medical missionary in Africa. When I was 16, I swore I'd never have a job where I would be sitting around doing nothing. When I was 17, I told my math teacher that my marriage would be special — that someone would come along on a white horse, sweep me off my feet, and we'd ride off into the sunset.
When I was 19, I knew that I would travel around the country helping people. Graduating at 20, I received my RN/BS. When I was 22, I left for Providence, R.I., with $4 in my pocket, because I found that I was always getting in my own way and I needed to discover more about God's providence for my life. Following that adventure, I traveled around the country until I was 25, trying to forget myself and learning how to live for the sake of others.
I arrived in Africa when I was 26. When I was 27, I vowed to marry a person with whom we would have the best children. When I was 28, I decided to love myself. I got married at 29 in Madison Square Garden with 2,000 other couples.
At 31, I became a mother. Getting that job that would keep me forever busy happened at 33 as I worked my way up the corporate ladder to become the art director of a 350-page monthly magazine. This kept me busy for quite a few years as I learned how to not take myself so seriously and how to go with the flow.
The magazine folded quite suddenly when I was 50, which led to my receiving a master's after turning 52. At 53 I reconciled with my mother, and today I'm connecting all the dots to see the panoramic quilt that is my life. As I surrendered daily to my life, I found that I have been able to explore many unexpected directions.
I didn't decide any of this. I put an intention out there, and then I tried to live my life remembering that I belonged to God. Remembering this sacred belonging, our connections will truly become limitless. Working it backward, if our seeing is holistic, then our connections will be as well. If we truly belong to God, then we must think, feel and live for, and in, the whole. The broader our perspective, the more of God one sees — the more He will be in our life, and we in His.
Without all those pieces, those adventures, those experiences, that is, without all those details, seeing the whole of God in others, and in creation, would have been difficult. This afternoon a colleague came to me in tears. "I want to quit. I want to leave. I can't do it. It's too much. The kids deserve better than this." In tears myself, I responded, "I feel your heart." She stayed. After all, isn't life, isn't love, as simple as that — staying fully engaged in it, until the next connection is made, offering us a more expansive view of the Beloved's heart?
— — —
Anne E. Ulvestad is a free-lance writer residing in Maryland. She has her master's in earth literacy, and is available for public lectures and group presentations and rituals on Spirituality and the Environment. Anne can be reached at {email anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com}anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com{/email}. © Copyright 2007 by Anne E. Ulvestad.
When I was 5, I announced that I would be a medical missionary in Africa. When I was 16, I swore I'd never have a job where I would be sitting around doing nothing. When I was 17, I told my math teacher that my marriage would be special — that someone would come along on a white horse, sweep me off my feet, and we'd ride off into the sunset.
When I was 19, I knew that I would travel around the country helping people. Graduating at 20, I received my RN/BS. When I was 22, I left for Providence, R.I., with $4 in my pocket, because I found that I was always getting in my own way and I needed to discover more about God's providence for my life. Following that adventure, I traveled around the country until I was 25, trying to forget myself and learning how to live for the sake of others.
I arrived in Africa when I was 26. When I was 27, I vowed to marry a person with whom we would have the best children. When I was 28, I decided to love myself. I got married at 29 in Madison Square Garden with 2,000 other couples.
At 31, I became a mother. Getting that job that would keep me forever busy happened at 33 as I worked my way up the corporate ladder to become the art director of a 350-page monthly magazine. This kept me busy for quite a few years as I learned how to not take myself so seriously and how to go with the flow.
The magazine folded quite suddenly when I was 50, which led to my receiving a master's after turning 52. At 53 I reconciled with my mother, and today I'm connecting all the dots to see the panoramic quilt that is my life. As I surrendered daily to my life, I found that I have been able to explore many unexpected directions.
I didn't decide any of this. I put an intention out there, and then I tried to live my life remembering that I belonged to God. Remembering this sacred belonging, our connections will truly become limitless. Working it backward, if our seeing is holistic, then our connections will be as well. If we truly belong to God, then we must think, feel and live for, and in, the whole. The broader our perspective, the more of God one sees — the more He will be in our life, and we in His.
Without all those pieces, those adventures, those experiences, that is, without all those details, seeing the whole of God in others, and in creation, would have been difficult. This afternoon a colleague came to me in tears. "I want to quit. I want to leave. I can't do it. It's too much. The kids deserve better than this." In tears myself, I responded, "I feel your heart." She stayed. After all, isn't life, isn't love, as simple as that — staying fully engaged in it, until the next connection is made, offering us a more expansive view of the Beloved's heart?
— — —
Anne E. Ulvestad is a free-lance writer residing in Maryland. She has her master's in earth literacy, and is available for public lectures and group presentations and rituals on Spirituality and the Environment. Anne can be reached at {email anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com}anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com{/email}. © Copyright 2007 by Anne E. Ulvestad.