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Posted: September 13th, 2007 at 12:35am By: Anne E. Ulvestad
Beauty calms my soul. When I get to a place that is too busy, hectic or overwhelming, I will find somewhere for my eyes to feast on the intricate delicacy of art, poetry or nature. That exercise will excite wonder and awe in me, my heart will stand still for a moment, and I will remember.
I will glance up and notice the variegated leaf of the hanging plant with its rich, living green. It is using my carbon dioxide to grow, and offering me life-giving oxygen in return. I'll pick up "Rumi: Whispers of the Beloved" and read: "My heart is so small it's almost invisible. How can you place such big sorrows in it? 'Look,' He answered, 'your eyes are even smaller, yet they behold the world.'"
I have a Power Puff Girls poster in my study. These cute little cartoon imps are flying around the room claiming that they are the ones "Saving the World Before Bedtime"! Imagine that! Beside me, my husband will pray, as he has prayed every evening for the past 20 years for God's presence to be with us. I think then, as I have on every other eve, "Hmm, yes. I like presents."
It's been a busy, emotional month for me. My friend called and told me that she didn't like talking to me when things were so hectic. I slowed down to remember our walks on the beach this past summer, watching cranes and egrets, slow-moving and graceful. Their only thought was for the next bug or fish in their path. I changed my focus when she called again.
Our dog, Bay, died this past week. He died peacefully. He was ready at age 16. What I remember is coming back home after rushing from the house to process my pain. Christopher, age 15, walked slowly up to me, all 6 foot 4 inches of him, with arms held wide to embrace me in a hug that stopped me in my tracks, and opened me again to the never-endingness of love.
Love opens my heart like the sun opens the petals of the rose. I become soft with the remembrance of a loved one as my breath catches and then deepens into a sigh. When I think of the beauty in love, I must be grateful for my daughter who is ever so kind and talented and faithful. She has just found out that her mother-in-law has suffered a very serious stoke. Her sensitive heart is being challenged in a way from which I cannot shield her.
However, her father-in-law has written to her, and the rest of the family, as he sits by his wife's side and sings and confides in her his love. He writes, "It is not difficult to be grateful at this time, because we have been so richly Blessed — our life is overflowing with meaning and love and value. There is an Amy Grant song that says, 'The same sun that melts the wax will harden clay. The same rain that drowns the rat will grow the hay. And the same wind that knocks us down, if we lean into it, will drive our fears away.'"
In this hectic, fast-paced world we live in, full of tragedy and heroism, heartbreak and courage, the sun must be remembered as it burns away all impurities, the rain as it sweeps clean for new growth and change, and the wind as it penetrates and uncovers truth. Reality is in the moment before we take the next step, the hesitation that decides the direction and purpose of our actions. It is in this moment that I remember the peacefulness of beauty and the openness of love.
finally I exhale
and although reality comes back into focus
I know that I will always love you
And that makes my tears sparkle and shine.
— — —
Anne E. Ulvestad is a free-lance writer residing in Maryland. She has her masters in earth literacy, and is available for public lectures and group presentations and rituals on Spirituality and the Environment. Anne can be reached at {email anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com}anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com{/email}. © Copyright 2007 by Anne E. Ulvestad.
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Beauty calms my soul. When I get to a place that is too busy, hectic or overwhelming, I will find somewhere for my eyes to feast on the intricate delicacy of art, poetry or nature. That exercise will excite wonder and awe in me, my heart will stand still for a moment, and I will remember.
I will glance up and notice the variegated leaf of the hanging plant with its rich, living green. It is using my carbon dioxide to grow, and offering me life-giving oxygen in return. I'll pick up "Rumi: Whispers of the Beloved" and read: "My heart is so small it's almost invisible. How can you place such big sorrows in it? 'Look,' He answered, 'your eyes are even smaller, yet they behold the world.'"
I have a Power Puff Girls poster in my study. These cute little cartoon imps are flying around the room claiming that they are the ones "Saving the World Before Bedtime"! Imagine that! Beside me, my husband will pray, as he has prayed every evening for the past 20 years for God's presence to be with us. I think then, as I have on every other eve, "Hmm, yes. I like presents."
It's been a busy, emotional month for me. My friend called and told me that she didn't like talking to me when things were so hectic. I slowed down to remember our walks on the beach this past summer, watching cranes and egrets, slow-moving and graceful. Their only thought was for the next bug or fish in their path. I changed my focus when she called again.
Our dog, Bay, died this past week. He died peacefully. He was ready at age 16. What I remember is coming back home after rushing from the house to process my pain. Christopher, age 15, walked slowly up to me, all 6 foot 4 inches of him, with arms held wide to embrace me in a hug that stopped me in my tracks, and opened me again to the never-endingness of love.
Love opens my heart like the sun opens the petals of the rose. I become soft with the remembrance of a loved one as my breath catches and then deepens into a sigh. When I think of the beauty in love, I must be grateful for my daughter who is ever so kind and talented and faithful. She has just found out that her mother-in-law has suffered a very serious stoke. Her sensitive heart is being challenged in a way from which I cannot shield her.
However, her father-in-law has written to her, and the rest of the family, as he sits by his wife's side and sings and confides in her his love. He writes, "It is not difficult to be grateful at this time, because we have been so richly Blessed — our life is overflowing with meaning and love and value. There is an Amy Grant song that says, 'The same sun that melts the wax will harden clay. The same rain that drowns the rat will grow the hay. And the same wind that knocks us down, if we lean into it, will drive our fears away.'"
In this hectic, fast-paced world we live in, full of tragedy and heroism, heartbreak and courage, the sun must be remembered as it burns away all impurities, the rain as it sweeps clean for new growth and change, and the wind as it penetrates and uncovers truth. Reality is in the moment before we take the next step, the hesitation that decides the direction and purpose of our actions. It is in this moment that I remember the peacefulness of beauty and the openness of love.
finally I exhale
and although reality comes back into focus
I know that I will always love you
And that makes my tears sparkle and shine.
— — —
Anne E. Ulvestad is a free-lance writer residing in Maryland. She has her masters in earth literacy, and is available for public lectures and group presentations and rituals on Spirituality and the Environment. Anne can be reached at {email anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com}anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com{/email}. © Copyright 2007 by Anne E. Ulvestad.
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