Thursday, September 20, 2007 at 1:01am
Lesson of Leadership No. 3
Column: Our Place in the Universe
I have a friend. No, she's more than a friend; she's my little sister. I went to school with her, and I visit her about twice a year. This year, after seeing her in March, I have heard very little from her. Now this is a problem, since another classmate and I are planning on stopping by her house on our way to our school reunion in a couple of weeks.
I've written, called, even called with Maureen, our fellow sister, to no avail. Finally I wrote one last email telling a tale of woe, of coming to her home and finding it covered in cobwebs. She finally responded. She's not going to the reunion — she hasn't graduated. Her house is a mess. She has invasive species in her backyard. (That, for the benefit of Maureen, who is, if you remember, the Invasive Species Coordinator for the Western Shore Conservancy.) She has no beds for us to sleep in, and she has no energy to make it different. But she loves me and I make her laugh.
All right, then. I got right on eBay and found a "Bless This Mess" sign and had it shipped to her. Then I went to a camping store and bought her a sleeping bag. This evening I did a search for native plants of Ohio, found a wonderful site called the Ohio Prairie Nursery and ordered the butterfly/hummingbird seed mix to be mailed to her. Next, I printed up a Certificate of Graduation from the School of Incomparable Sisterhood, signed it, sealed it and sent it on its way. Lastly, I sent her a bottle of ginseng to help increase her energy.
Think that will do it? I'll let you know in a couple of weeks! Meanwhile, my boss (he doesn't like me to call him that, but rather "partner in education") - OK, my partner in education, who is in reality the first mentor I've ever had and, I believe the best, has been teasing me. He sat me down one day and told me that there were four, or is it five, principles of leadership. He wouldn't tell me what they were, however, because knowing them, I might be able to challenge him for his job as headmaster.
We have just started school, and with all the preparation, he has not been able to take any time off. Finally, this past Friday he decided to go, and see what damage I would do in his absence. One thing that was left uncertain was the manner of attendance taking. Seems like a pretty easy thing, right? But we had already spent more than an hour discussing the way it should be taken and had come to no conclusion.
I thought I'd be of help and resolve it while he was away. I talked to most people involved and, although it wasn't unanimous, we did reach a consensus. I emailed him about what I had done. "Oh, ho," he said over the phone, when he called to respond. "That's the third principle of leadership, and you think you've got the answer?" "Well, yes," I replied. "I spoke with the teachers, and we reached an agreement. It seems to be the easiest way to take attendance, and everyone is happy with it."
"It's the easiest way," he said. My eyebrows contracted. "Everyone is happy." My teeth clenched. "A consensus, hmm? And we're not doing it the way I wanted, are we?" He continued immediately, saying: "No matter. It's all small stuff. So you think this is the best way?" I mumbled a reply, but I had heard the previous line — not doing what he wanted. "Go ahead. If this is what is best, and what will make people happy, go ahead with it." We moved on to other subjects, and hung up.
But, of course, I continued to think about our conversation. The third principle of leadership, now what could it be? The words "happy," "everyone," "easy" and "not what I wanted" whirled around in my head. I've reached this conclusion. Lesson of Leadership No. 3: There's a difference between what is easy for everyone, or what will make the most people happy, and what will actually get the job done. Taking the easy way is not actually guaranteeing that the attendance will be taken. One of the things to think about, then, is not settling for an easy, majority rules decision, but finding one that will produce the desired result.
Being a leader in my own life, or in leading others, involves not just being aware of the results, but also being able to make the difficult decisions that will lead in that direction. As for my friend, whether all my efforts to get her to laugh at the situation work or not, I'll still go knock on her door with a chocolate cake in hand. Her getting angry that I showed up is a chance I am willing to take.
— — —
Anne E. Ulvestad is a free-lance writer residing in Maryland. She has her masters in earth literacy, and is available for public lectures and group presentations and rituals on Spirituality and the Environment. Anne can be reached at {email anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com}anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com{/email}. © Copyright 2007 by Anne E. Ulvestad.
I've written, called, even called with Maureen, our fellow sister, to no avail. Finally I wrote one last email telling a tale of woe, of coming to her home and finding it covered in cobwebs. She finally responded. She's not going to the reunion — she hasn't graduated. Her house is a mess. She has invasive species in her backyard. (That, for the benefit of Maureen, who is, if you remember, the Invasive Species Coordinator for the Western Shore Conservancy.) She has no beds for us to sleep in, and she has no energy to make it different. But she loves me and I make her laugh.
All right, then. I got right on eBay and found a "Bless This Mess" sign and had it shipped to her. Then I went to a camping store and bought her a sleeping bag. This evening I did a search for native plants of Ohio, found a wonderful site called the Ohio Prairie Nursery and ordered the butterfly/hummingbird seed mix to be mailed to her. Next, I printed up a Certificate of Graduation from the School of Incomparable Sisterhood, signed it, sealed it and sent it on its way. Lastly, I sent her a bottle of ginseng to help increase her energy.
Think that will do it? I'll let you know in a couple of weeks! Meanwhile, my boss (he doesn't like me to call him that, but rather "partner in education") - OK, my partner in education, who is in reality the first mentor I've ever had and, I believe the best, has been teasing me. He sat me down one day and told me that there were four, or is it five, principles of leadership. He wouldn't tell me what they were, however, because knowing them, I might be able to challenge him for his job as headmaster.
We have just started school, and with all the preparation, he has not been able to take any time off. Finally, this past Friday he decided to go, and see what damage I would do in his absence. One thing that was left uncertain was the manner of attendance taking. Seems like a pretty easy thing, right? But we had already spent more than an hour discussing the way it should be taken and had come to no conclusion.
I thought I'd be of help and resolve it while he was away. I talked to most people involved and, although it wasn't unanimous, we did reach a consensus. I emailed him about what I had done. "Oh, ho," he said over the phone, when he called to respond. "That's the third principle of leadership, and you think you've got the answer?" "Well, yes," I replied. "I spoke with the teachers, and we reached an agreement. It seems to be the easiest way to take attendance, and everyone is happy with it."
"It's the easiest way," he said. My eyebrows contracted. "Everyone is happy." My teeth clenched. "A consensus, hmm? And we're not doing it the way I wanted, are we?" He continued immediately, saying: "No matter. It's all small stuff. So you think this is the best way?" I mumbled a reply, but I had heard the previous line — not doing what he wanted. "Go ahead. If this is what is best, and what will make people happy, go ahead with it." We moved on to other subjects, and hung up.
But, of course, I continued to think about our conversation. The third principle of leadership, now what could it be? The words "happy," "everyone," "easy" and "not what I wanted" whirled around in my head. I've reached this conclusion. Lesson of Leadership No. 3: There's a difference between what is easy for everyone, or what will make the most people happy, and what will actually get the job done. Taking the easy way is not actually guaranteeing that the attendance will be taken. One of the things to think about, then, is not settling for an easy, majority rules decision, but finding one that will produce the desired result.
Being a leader in my own life, or in leading others, involves not just being aware of the results, but also being able to make the difficult decisions that will lead in that direction. As for my friend, whether all my efforts to get her to laugh at the situation work or not, I'll still go knock on her door with a chocolate cake in hand. Her getting angry that I showed up is a chance I am willing to take.
— — —
Anne E. Ulvestad is a free-lance writer residing in Maryland. She has her masters in earth literacy, and is available for public lectures and group presentations and rituals on Spirituality and the Environment. Anne can be reached at {email anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com}anne@ourplaceintheuniverse.com{/email}. © Copyright 2007 by Anne E. Ulvestad.