Tuesday, October 30, 2007 at 1:01am
Finding God on the golf course
Column: All Paths
Yesterday I attended the funeral of a friend, Lenard Tenor. Like me, he was a member of the United States Soldiers and Airmens Home Golf Course in Washington, D.C. So you are probably asking why I am writing about this particular funeral. I am writing about it because this man was special.
I have attended many funerals where you could tell that folks had to probe the farthest reaches of their memory banks to come up with some funny story or just something good to say about the departed one who lay before them. And, as a minister and chaplain, I can tell you that this happens frequently. But this was not the case for Tenor, which is what we called him.
Let me tell you why this man was special. First, he was a humble man. He was not a man of letters or great professional accomplishments. He was a hard-working guy who supported his family with dignity and in the best way he could. It was heartwarming to hear family member after family member stand and testify at his funeral about how he supported them not only financially but with his wisdom and ever-present open ear.
For me, what made him special was his presence and stature on the golf course. Yes, he was a great golfer ... the best at our club. He won every tournament we have. Many golfers who are that good readily let you know it and will not play with you if you are not on their level. Tenor would play with anyone and mentor him or her as well. Sometimes I wonder why he played with me and demonstrated the patience of a Zen master as he helped me with my struggling game.
It was through his patience and golf wizardry that he was a unifying presence at our golf club. On any day, you could see him playing with a high-powered African-American businessman, a distinguished professor from a black university, and a retired white soldier from the coalfields of Pennsylvania. The next time you saw him, he might be playing with a kid from Canada, a white female professor from a nearby university, and an injured soldier from Walter Reed Army Medical Center.
As a minister and a chaplain, I often tell those whom I counsel that the greatest manifestation of God on earth can be found in our fellow human beings. It is the simple mundane things that they do that make this world tolerable and a more pleasant place to live. So in my opinion, Tenor was definitely a divine manifestation at our golf club. Through his kindness and willingness to embrace anyone who just simply wanted to play golf, he enriched an entire community.
Most of us spend our lives searching for happiness and can't in real terms quantify or qualify what will or does make us happy. There is a reason why. It is because we think our happiness is always somewhere other than where we are, instead of finding it where we stand. Tenor knew that secret. He seemed to be happiest while playing golf. But he was also happy and always smiling, no matter what he was doing or where he was. He could find the hidden treasure in each moment. I wrote a book about this stuff, and through his quiet example he would remind me about being present in the moment every time I played with him.
Tenor knew that golf was a metaphor for life. I think it's what made him a great golfer and helped him survive some major health problems. He knew that to master golf, you have to be able to focus on the present moment and not the past, as well as manage the course by making good solid decisions about your shot selection. These are lessons that you can apply to life.
So by Tenor regally stepping into the role as the golf guru of the United States Soldiers and Airmens Home Golf Course, he taught us a lot about life in a very humble and caring way. He did this far better than any minister or man/woman of letters. I believe that God gave Tenor to our little golf club to remind us to be happy just where we are and step into each moment and just be present and live it. That's a powerful lesson, isn't it? Some of us could read a million books on the subject and still not get it, or you could play a round of golf with Tenor.
God places all sorts of people in our lives and on our path. It is sad that we might overlook some of them because of our personal filters and judgments. I hope you are not overlooking the Tenor in your life.
— — —
Rev. Jay Speights has an MA in public policy and is an interfaith minister and the main U.N. representative for The New Seminary in New York. You can learn more about his work at The New Seminary website or at harmoniousday.blogspot.com. His email address is {email jayspeights@newseminary.org}jayspeights@newseminary.org{/email}. © Copyright 2007 by Jay Speights.
I have attended many funerals where you could tell that folks had to probe the farthest reaches of their memory banks to come up with some funny story or just something good to say about the departed one who lay before them. And, as a minister and chaplain, I can tell you that this happens frequently. But this was not the case for Tenor, which is what we called him.
Let me tell you why this man was special. First, he was a humble man. He was not a man of letters or great professional accomplishments. He was a hard-working guy who supported his family with dignity and in the best way he could. It was heartwarming to hear family member after family member stand and testify at his funeral about how he supported them not only financially but with his wisdom and ever-present open ear.
For me, what made him special was his presence and stature on the golf course. Yes, he was a great golfer ... the best at our club. He won every tournament we have. Many golfers who are that good readily let you know it and will not play with you if you are not on their level. Tenor would play with anyone and mentor him or her as well. Sometimes I wonder why he played with me and demonstrated the patience of a Zen master as he helped me with my struggling game.
It was through his patience and golf wizardry that he was a unifying presence at our golf club. On any day, you could see him playing with a high-powered African-American businessman, a distinguished professor from a black university, and a retired white soldier from the coalfields of Pennsylvania. The next time you saw him, he might be playing with a kid from Canada, a white female professor from a nearby university, and an injured soldier from Walter Reed Army Medical Center.
As a minister and a chaplain, I often tell those whom I counsel that the greatest manifestation of God on earth can be found in our fellow human beings. It is the simple mundane things that they do that make this world tolerable and a more pleasant place to live. So in my opinion, Tenor was definitely a divine manifestation at our golf club. Through his kindness and willingness to embrace anyone who just simply wanted to play golf, he enriched an entire community.
Most of us spend our lives searching for happiness and can't in real terms quantify or qualify what will or does make us happy. There is a reason why. It is because we think our happiness is always somewhere other than where we are, instead of finding it where we stand. Tenor knew that secret. He seemed to be happiest while playing golf. But he was also happy and always smiling, no matter what he was doing or where he was. He could find the hidden treasure in each moment. I wrote a book about this stuff, and through his quiet example he would remind me about being present in the moment every time I played with him.
Tenor knew that golf was a metaphor for life. I think it's what made him a great golfer and helped him survive some major health problems. He knew that to master golf, you have to be able to focus on the present moment and not the past, as well as manage the course by making good solid decisions about your shot selection. These are lessons that you can apply to life.
So by Tenor regally stepping into the role as the golf guru of the United States Soldiers and Airmens Home Golf Course, he taught us a lot about life in a very humble and caring way. He did this far better than any minister or man/woman of letters. I believe that God gave Tenor to our little golf club to remind us to be happy just where we are and step into each moment and just be present and live it. That's a powerful lesson, isn't it? Some of us could read a million books on the subject and still not get it, or you could play a round of golf with Tenor.
God places all sorts of people in our lives and on our path. It is sad that we might overlook some of them because of our personal filters and judgments. I hope you are not overlooking the Tenor in your life.
— — —
Rev. Jay Speights has an MA in public policy and is an interfaith minister and the main U.N. representative for The New Seminary in New York. You can learn more about his work at The New Seminary website or at harmoniousday.blogspot.com. His email address is {email jayspeights@newseminary.org}jayspeights@newseminary.org{/email}. © Copyright 2007 by Jay Speights.