Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 12:12am
Ego death vs. ego transcendence - your choice!
Column: Spiritual Psychology
Last week we discovered that the crisis of aging is primarily a crisis of the ego threatened by the end of time. The ego's unrelenting cravings require the future to gratify needs and fulfill its fantasy to become whole. Advancing age upsets the ego's game plan with the show-stopping perception of clock time winding down. How can the ego now mobilize for its lifelong quest to become with its main engine (time) sputtering and about to shut down?
Reactions to the shock of life time ending mirrors how people cope with catastrophic illness and impending physical death discovered by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Her groundbreaking book, "On Death And Dying," describes five stages of grief that people typically experience: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The ego's frantic antics, so evident in the baby boomer's desperate war on aging, follow the same pattern, as I detail in my book "Escape Your Own Prison: Why We Need Spirituality and Psychology to be Truly Free" (Chapter 6, "The Spiritual Emergency of Aging"):
"Implicit denial of aging and death peaks in the teenage years and early twenties. That's when the ego is riding high on invulnerability and the delusion of eternal youth. From that perspective the elderly are another species whose lives and aging process have little bearing on the younger generation's path of ascension. By 'thirty something' aging begins to look like a serious reality, but still the belief persists that it can be fought, stopped and possibly reversed. Denial remains pretty firm but some anger is beginning to break through. For women, denial suffers a serious setback with the realization that the fertility clock may be ticking down. But there's still time to beat the clock — and then there is hope that medical breakthroughs will provide a magic bullet or will be in place just in time. So a shaky denial with signs of cracks persists. At this time men may experience an occasional incident of erectile failure and other physical signs of decline — but there are temporary external reasons that can be cited — fatigue, tensions, alcohol, and so forth. Even so, no cause to worry — there are Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, and even better elixirs on the way.
"With the thirties advancing, the troops start setting up battle lines and begin marching. The forties bring a rising crescendo of fear and anger as the walls of the fortress expose evidence of infiltration. Signs of aging pop up on a number of fronts — wrinkles, graying, muscle tone loss, a little arthritis, and potbellies as well as the various social markers — kids leaving home, retirement looming, and so forth. But denial isn't about to quit — restoring youth is just a matter of greater diligence in paying attention to getting back in shape (a shape that most were never in) and sticking to other regimens.
"Then at fifty anger peaks for many: 'How can this be happening to me?' Now it's time to do battle in earnest, pulling out all the stops, as the older baby boomers are doing. Bargaining enters the picture with promises to devote oneself more earnestly to the aging battle — to stick to a plan, start a diet, get a trainer, investigate vitamins and herbs, do brain calisthenics, and pursue spiritual or other programs and pilgrimages to put an end to aging once and for all. At 'sixty something' it looks like the enemy will storm the barricades and face few defenses — the realization sinks in that aging is here to stay. The ego despairs. That's when denial and bargaining can give way to depression. The healthy resolution of depression and sadness will lead to acceptance — the realization that aging is part of a continuous process beginning with birth, that the gift of human existence forecasts aging and death. But acceptance is not the end of the line for the aging crisis.
"In coping with ego death, unlike physical death, acceptance is not a final resolution. There's another step: Ego transcendence. But that can only happen when your ground of consciousness — omni consciousness — is embraced. Just acceptance of aging can leave you frozen with no effective operating system. Acceptance without transcendence is not a solution, only the failure to progress — it's the pathway to despair. With ego transcendence the ego is no longer the central driving force. There is a shift in the locus of consciousness to omni consciousness. In omni consciousness there is only 'now' — the great equalizer: The now moment belongs to no one of any age more than you!"
Ego transcendence through reclaiming omni consciousness is the centerpiece of my "thirty-plus survival kit" for successful resolution of the crisis of aging — no small matter when you realize that with ever-increasing longevity the "third age" of life is likely to be the biggest chunk — longer than childhood, adolescence, early adulthood or middle age!
More about ego transcendence next week.
— — —
In case you missed the last few related columns:
"The spiritual crisis of aging"
"Spirituality + psychology = a powerful duo"
"Ego: An object that cannot change"
"To ego or not to ego, that's a question?"
"If you saw the truth, would you go for it?"
And, "Escaping the prison of the self"
— — —
(My book "Escape Your Own Prison: Why We Need Spirituality and Psychology to be Truly Free" is now available at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble.com and other major book outlets.)
— — —
Bernard Starr, Ph.D., formerly professor of developmental and educational psychology at the City University of New York, now teaches "Spirituality in Film" and leads "The Spiritual Forum" at Marymount Manhattan College. In addition to his work in radio, he is a longtime contributor of commentary and opinion articles to numerous major publications. He is also the main United Nations representative for the Institute of Global Education that founded the Mucherla Global School in Mucherla, India. His book "Escape Your Own Prison: Why We Need Spirituality and Psychology to be Truly Free" has been published by Rowman & Littlefield. He can be reached at {email OmniCns@aol.com}OmniCns@aol.com{/email}. © Copyright 2007 by Bernard Starr.
Reactions to the shock of life time ending mirrors how people cope with catastrophic illness and impending physical death discovered by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Her groundbreaking book, "On Death And Dying," describes five stages of grief that people typically experience: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The ego's frantic antics, so evident in the baby boomer's desperate war on aging, follow the same pattern, as I detail in my book "Escape Your Own Prison: Why We Need Spirituality and Psychology to be Truly Free" (Chapter 6, "The Spiritual Emergency of Aging"):
"Implicit denial of aging and death peaks in the teenage years and early twenties. That's when the ego is riding high on invulnerability and the delusion of eternal youth. From that perspective the elderly are another species whose lives and aging process have little bearing on the younger generation's path of ascension. By 'thirty something' aging begins to look like a serious reality, but still the belief persists that it can be fought, stopped and possibly reversed. Denial remains pretty firm but some anger is beginning to break through. For women, denial suffers a serious setback with the realization that the fertility clock may be ticking down. But there's still time to beat the clock — and then there is hope that medical breakthroughs will provide a magic bullet or will be in place just in time. So a shaky denial with signs of cracks persists. At this time men may experience an occasional incident of erectile failure and other physical signs of decline — but there are temporary external reasons that can be cited — fatigue, tensions, alcohol, and so forth. Even so, no cause to worry — there are Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, and even better elixirs on the way.
"With the thirties advancing, the troops start setting up battle lines and begin marching. The forties bring a rising crescendo of fear and anger as the walls of the fortress expose evidence of infiltration. Signs of aging pop up on a number of fronts — wrinkles, graying, muscle tone loss, a little arthritis, and potbellies as well as the various social markers — kids leaving home, retirement looming, and so forth. But denial isn't about to quit — restoring youth is just a matter of greater diligence in paying attention to getting back in shape (a shape that most were never in) and sticking to other regimens.
"Then at fifty anger peaks for many: 'How can this be happening to me?' Now it's time to do battle in earnest, pulling out all the stops, as the older baby boomers are doing. Bargaining enters the picture with promises to devote oneself more earnestly to the aging battle — to stick to a plan, start a diet, get a trainer, investigate vitamins and herbs, do brain calisthenics, and pursue spiritual or other programs and pilgrimages to put an end to aging once and for all. At 'sixty something' it looks like the enemy will storm the barricades and face few defenses — the realization sinks in that aging is here to stay. The ego despairs. That's when denial and bargaining can give way to depression. The healthy resolution of depression and sadness will lead to acceptance — the realization that aging is part of a continuous process beginning with birth, that the gift of human existence forecasts aging and death. But acceptance is not the end of the line for the aging crisis.
"In coping with ego death, unlike physical death, acceptance is not a final resolution. There's another step: Ego transcendence. But that can only happen when your ground of consciousness — omni consciousness — is embraced. Just acceptance of aging can leave you frozen with no effective operating system. Acceptance without transcendence is not a solution, only the failure to progress — it's the pathway to despair. With ego transcendence the ego is no longer the central driving force. There is a shift in the locus of consciousness to omni consciousness. In omni consciousness there is only 'now' — the great equalizer: The now moment belongs to no one of any age more than you!"
Ego transcendence through reclaiming omni consciousness is the centerpiece of my "thirty-plus survival kit" for successful resolution of the crisis of aging — no small matter when you realize that with ever-increasing longevity the "third age" of life is likely to be the biggest chunk — longer than childhood, adolescence, early adulthood or middle age!
More about ego transcendence next week.
— — —
In case you missed the last few related columns:
"The spiritual crisis of aging"
"Spirituality + psychology = a powerful duo"
"Ego: An object that cannot change"
"To ego or not to ego, that's a question?"
"If you saw the truth, would you go for it?"
And, "Escaping the prison of the self"
— — —
(My book "Escape Your Own Prison: Why We Need Spirituality and Psychology to be Truly Free" is now available at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble.com and other major book outlets.)
— — —
Bernard Starr, Ph.D., formerly professor of developmental and educational psychology at the City University of New York, now teaches "Spirituality in Film" and leads "The Spiritual Forum" at Marymount Manhattan College. In addition to his work in radio, he is a longtime contributor of commentary and opinion articles to numerous major publications. He is also the main United Nations representative for the Institute of Global Education that founded the Mucherla Global School in Mucherla, India. His book "Escape Your Own Prison: Why We Need Spirituality and Psychology to be Truly Free" has been published by Rowman & Littlefield. He can be reached at {email OmniCns@aol.com}OmniCns@aol.com{/email}. © Copyright 2007 by Bernard Starr.