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Posted: November 13th, 2007 at 1:10am By: Rev. Jay Speights
In this column last week I lamented the fact that some basic gestures of civility seem to have disappeared from our daily interactions. This observation was based on a subway ride on Washington's Metro system, where many people bumped into me and stepped on my shoes without a simple "sorry" or "excuse me." And, if you recall, I sadly reported that I reacted to this by becoming a rude and angry person myself.
So as a result of all of this, I decided that I would set out as a member of the "Polite Patrol" and attempt to resurrect some of those lost American civil traditions like smiling at people and extending a heartfelt "Good morning" or "Hello," as well as not reacting negatively to the rudeness and anger of others. I felt that through this example, others might be encouraged to reflect on their rude, insular and angry ways and change. Also I invited you to do the same, and I said I would report on my efforts this week.
Well, I am sad to say that I had a difficult week as a member of the Polite Patrol. I earnestly tried to extend sincere good mornings and heartfelt smiles to people on the street, subway, elevators, etc. My good efforts lasted about three days. After a while, I felt it was a losing battle, and I became extremely discouraged. Let me offer some examples why I began to feel this way.
On my first morning as a member of the Polite Patrol, I entered an elevator where there were three people and enthusiastically smiled at each of them and said, "Good morning." One of them, a woman, feigned a smile and uttered a very unenthusiastic "Good morning." The other two never looked up. One of them, a man, actually bumped into two people who were walking into the elevator as he exited.
That same day, while on the subway, I had a very disturbing incident. I was walking to the machine to get a fare card, and this woman who was rushing and totally unaware of anyone or anything around her abruptly stepped right in front of me, which caused me to forcibly bump into her. She turned and shot me a real evil look. I told her I was very sorry but she stepped right in front and I tried to avoid bumping into her but could not stop in time to do so. She shot me another evil look and the finger. Trying to be a good Polite Patroller, I smiled and said "Sorry" again and moved on.
I could offer several other incidents where my basic civility was trampled on during the week or where my efforts as a Polite Patroller were met with indifference or even hostility. The sad part about all of this is that I did not hold up my end as a Polite Patroller. I let the rude, angry and insular folks I encountered daunt my spirits and efforts, which is not good. I knew what I was going to encounter and was supposed to be taking a more enlightened perspective out into the world. Yes, I failed as a Polite Patroller!
I am going to take this week and rekindle my efforts to help move my fellow citizens to a more civil state of being through example. And I am going to work harder to do it. I see this abiding state of rudeness and anger as a manifestation of a deeply rooted spiritual problem in America.
We are becoming more and more insular, angry, rude and only concerned about our little personal slice of the world. So if anyone else steps into our space, we respond with rudeness and anger. Many of us only care about ourselves. This state of mind is evident not only in how we interact with each other but in how we treat other nations and the environment as well. It has global implications.
So, in that context, can't you see the importance of the Polite Patrol? We have to make it work.
— — —
Rev. Jay Speights has an MA in public policy and is an interfaith minister and the main U.N. representative for The New Seminary in New York. You can learn more about his work at The New Seminary website or at http://jayspeights.blogspot.com/. His email address is {email jayspeights@newseminary.org}jayspeights@newseminary.org{/email}. © Copyright 2007 by Jay Speights.
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In this column last week I lamented the fact that some basic gestures of civility seem to have disappeared from our daily interactions. This observation was based on a subway ride on Washington's Metro system, where many people bumped into me and stepped on my shoes without a simple "sorry" or "excuse me." And, if you recall, I sadly reported that I reacted to this by becoming a rude and angry person myself.
So as a result of all of this, I decided that I would set out as a member of the "Polite Patrol" and attempt to resurrect some of those lost American civil traditions like smiling at people and extending a heartfelt "Good morning" or "Hello," as well as not reacting negatively to the rudeness and anger of others. I felt that through this example, others might be encouraged to reflect on their rude, insular and angry ways and change. Also I invited you to do the same, and I said I would report on my efforts this week.
Well, I am sad to say that I had a difficult week as a member of the Polite Patrol. I earnestly tried to extend sincere good mornings and heartfelt smiles to people on the street, subway, elevators, etc. My good efforts lasted about three days. After a while, I felt it was a losing battle, and I became extremely discouraged. Let me offer some examples why I began to feel this way.
On my first morning as a member of the Polite Patrol, I entered an elevator where there were three people and enthusiastically smiled at each of them and said, "Good morning." One of them, a woman, feigned a smile and uttered a very unenthusiastic "Good morning." The other two never looked up. One of them, a man, actually bumped into two people who were walking into the elevator as he exited.
That same day, while on the subway, I had a very disturbing incident. I was walking to the machine to get a fare card, and this woman who was rushing and totally unaware of anyone or anything around her abruptly stepped right in front of me, which caused me to forcibly bump into her. She turned and shot me a real evil look. I told her I was very sorry but she stepped right in front and I tried to avoid bumping into her but could not stop in time to do so. She shot me another evil look and the finger. Trying to be a good Polite Patroller, I smiled and said "Sorry" again and moved on.
I could offer several other incidents where my basic civility was trampled on during the week or where my efforts as a Polite Patroller were met with indifference or even hostility. The sad part about all of this is that I did not hold up my end as a Polite Patroller. I let the rude, angry and insular folks I encountered daunt my spirits and efforts, which is not good. I knew what I was going to encounter and was supposed to be taking a more enlightened perspective out into the world. Yes, I failed as a Polite Patroller!
I am going to take this week and rekindle my efforts to help move my fellow citizens to a more civil state of being through example. And I am going to work harder to do it. I see this abiding state of rudeness and anger as a manifestation of a deeply rooted spiritual problem in America.
We are becoming more and more insular, angry, rude and only concerned about our little personal slice of the world. So if anyone else steps into our space, we respond with rudeness and anger. Many of us only care about ourselves. This state of mind is evident not only in how we interact with each other but in how we treat other nations and the environment as well. It has global implications.
So, in that context, can't you see the importance of the Polite Patrol? We have to make it work.
— — —
Rev. Jay Speights has an MA in public policy and is an interfaith minister and the main U.N. representative for The New Seminary in New York. You can learn more about his work at The New Seminary website or at http://jayspeights.blogspot.com/. His email address is {email jayspeights@newseminary.org}jayspeights@newseminary.org{/email}. © Copyright 2007 by Jay Speights.
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