Friday, November 23, 2007 at 1:01am
Serve others - or die!
Column: PERFECTBALANCELIFE
Our main reason for existing in human form is to transfer our individuality out into the larger world. We need to get this point right, or we will always be in conflict with self and others. To serve others is to live. To not serve others is to die. I think this is what Jesus was talking about when he said that he came into this world not to be served, but rather to serve (Matthew 20:28). This also is what Paul refers to when he admonishes widows to be careful not to be self-centered, lest they make themselves over to be dead, even though they still have the name of being physically alive (1Timothy 5:6).
If serving others is an important behavior for us to exhibit in our lives, why do we see so many examples of individuals seeming to care almost exclusively for their own self-interest and gratification? Simply put, we do not really believe that this kind of lifestyle will bring us lasting joy and fulfillment. So, we choose not to consistently practice this way of life in our interactions with others.
Last week we talked about how it's possible to continually experience love in our lives only by performing acts of service that benefit others. I stated that if we receive love and do not balance this with an equal exchange of performing acts of service for others, then we will cut ourselves off from the free flow of love. Receiving love without returning love to others is like inhaling oxygen into your lungs and then refusing to exhale; without exhaling you can't take in the next life-giving breath of oxygen. How long can you behave like this before you end up endangering your health and well-being? Without giving love to others, you will never experience genuine love in your life.
What are some of the consequences attached to the behavior of withholding genuine love and service from self and others? Here is a short list to consider:
A nagging feeling that things are not right with your life.
A steady undercurrent of unproductive thoughts and feelings.
Anxious and nervous attempts to understand the key to feeling good and right.
Large and powerful mood swings ranging from hopeful expectation to abject depression.
A feeling of restlessness and discontent throughout your waking hours.
Self-doubt.
Self-loathing.
Self-absorption.
Dr. Noberto R. Keppe, in his book "The Origin of Illness: Psychological, Physical and Social," tells us that the natural state of a human being is one of positive expectation about the future. He goes on to say that if our state of mind is not reflecting this perspective, we must realize that there is something amiss in our heart. The short list I've provided is illustrative of a heart and mind devoid of dynamic energy or powerful, positive intention. Said another way, when we are not engaged in the act of giving out from ourselves to the larger world, we will be cut off from all that is good, beautiful, and healthy. Because love is the only eternal and everlasting power in the cosmos, it is our duty as human beings to understand how to constantly experience love for self and others. Only through genuine understanding, gained through actual practice and experience, can we learn how to be authentically alive — to be living in love.
Down through the ages, our great faith traditions have consistently taught the central importance of performing acts of service for the welfare of others. Even in the business world this principle is well known and practiced — by the excellent companies. Stephen R. Covey, cofounder and vice chairman of FranklinCovey, states that the really excellent companies teach their people to connect with a purpose that includes going beyond their own immediate self interest. Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, , in their book "The Power of Full Engagement," identify the shifting of attention from fulfilling one's own needs to serving something beyond ourselves as a key ingredient to igniting a deeper sense of life purpose.
In living life to the fullest, it is imperative that we continually give out from our individual self. The only eternal thing we can extend out from ourselves and into the lives of others is love. Through the giving out and sharing of our love with others we can be replenished in kind with love. To behave in this way, day by day and moment by moment, is to truly be alive and well. To serve others is to live. To not serve others is to die. The choice is yours to make. Choose well!
— — —
Jack LaValley is a practitioner of the martial arts, physical cultivation exercises, and sitting meditation. Although currently working in the hospitality industry, he spends much of his free time helping and working together with those who are pursuing the spiritual path. Jack and his wife, Wha-ja Oh-LaValley, a native of South Korea, reside in Westchester County, New York, and are the proud parents of three beautiful children. Jack is completing his book manuscript, "A Perfectly Balanced Life: Living Each Day with Wisdom and Strength," and expects publication to be in October 2008. You can reach Jack at: perfectbalance1@optimum.net © Copyright 2007 by Jack LaValley.
If serving others is an important behavior for us to exhibit in our lives, why do we see so many examples of individuals seeming to care almost exclusively for their own self-interest and gratification? Simply put, we do not really believe that this kind of lifestyle will bring us lasting joy and fulfillment. So, we choose not to consistently practice this way of life in our interactions with others.
Last week we talked about how it's possible to continually experience love in our lives only by performing acts of service that benefit others. I stated that if we receive love and do not balance this with an equal exchange of performing acts of service for others, then we will cut ourselves off from the free flow of love. Receiving love without returning love to others is like inhaling oxygen into your lungs and then refusing to exhale; without exhaling you can't take in the next life-giving breath of oxygen. How long can you behave like this before you end up endangering your health and well-being? Without giving love to others, you will never experience genuine love in your life.
What are some of the consequences attached to the behavior of withholding genuine love and service from self and others? Here is a short list to consider:
A nagging feeling that things are not right with your life.
A steady undercurrent of unproductive thoughts and feelings.
Anxious and nervous attempts to understand the key to feeling good and right.
Large and powerful mood swings ranging from hopeful expectation to abject depression.
A feeling of restlessness and discontent throughout your waking hours.
Self-doubt.
Self-loathing.
Self-absorption.
Dr. Noberto R. Keppe, in his book "The Origin of Illness: Psychological, Physical and Social," tells us that the natural state of a human being is one of positive expectation about the future. He goes on to say that if our state of mind is not reflecting this perspective, we must realize that there is something amiss in our heart. The short list I've provided is illustrative of a heart and mind devoid of dynamic energy or powerful, positive intention. Said another way, when we are not engaged in the act of giving out from ourselves to the larger world, we will be cut off from all that is good, beautiful, and healthy. Because love is the only eternal and everlasting power in the cosmos, it is our duty as human beings to understand how to constantly experience love for self and others. Only through genuine understanding, gained through actual practice and experience, can we learn how to be authentically alive — to be living in love.
Down through the ages, our great faith traditions have consistently taught the central importance of performing acts of service for the welfare of others. Even in the business world this principle is well known and practiced — by the excellent companies. Stephen R. Covey, cofounder and vice chairman of FranklinCovey, states that the really excellent companies teach their people to connect with a purpose that includes going beyond their own immediate self interest. Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, , in their book "The Power of Full Engagement," identify the shifting of attention from fulfilling one's own needs to serving something beyond ourselves as a key ingredient to igniting a deeper sense of life purpose.
In living life to the fullest, it is imperative that we continually give out from our individual self. The only eternal thing we can extend out from ourselves and into the lives of others is love. Through the giving out and sharing of our love with others we can be replenished in kind with love. To behave in this way, day by day and moment by moment, is to truly be alive and well. To serve others is to live. To not serve others is to die. The choice is yours to make. Choose well!
— — —
Jack LaValley is a practitioner of the martial arts, physical cultivation exercises, and sitting meditation. Although currently working in the hospitality industry, he spends much of his free time helping and working together with those who are pursuing the spiritual path. Jack and his wife, Wha-ja Oh-LaValley, a native of South Korea, reside in Westchester County, New York, and are the proud parents of three beautiful children. Jack is completing his book manuscript, "A Perfectly Balanced Life: Living Each Day with Wisdom and Strength," and expects publication to be in October 2008. You can reach Jack at: perfectbalance1@optimum.net © Copyright 2007 by Jack LaValley.