Thursday, January 3, 2008 at 12:12am
Gratitude ... or appreciation?
Column: Unclutter Your Life
A funny thing happened on the way to writing an article about gratitude: I changed my consciousness about it. I'd grabbed onto the catchy phrase "Attitude of gratitude;" but something about it niggled at my brain. Something felt out of balance.
I'm a proponent of what quantum physicists and spiritual leaders expound: What you focus on, you get more of, whether positive or negative. Since this has been my own life experience, I had to look deeper and pulled the dictionary from the shelf. Gratitude: A feeling of thankful appreciation for favors or benefits received. Favor: A kind, obliging, friendly or generous act. Benefit: A kindly, charitable act.
These definitions supported my underlying unrest about gratitude. A favor, by its nature, implies something done that obligates the receiver to the giver. Most of us have heard or read the phrase "I called in a favor." Benefit carries the energy of charity. Both of these imply that a recipient is in a state of lack.
Appreciate means to think well of; understand and enjoy; recognize the value of. No mention of lack; just enjoyment, understanding, and recognition of value, on some level, of something.
What is the significance or difference? Let's try an example, using both terms. You sit down to a meal and say, "I am grateful." Behind that may lie gratitude that you are not one of the starving millions on the planet or one of the homeless you passed on the street.
Now suppose you say, "I appreciate this." You appreciate the food and what it provides to your body. You appreciate every person who made it possible for you to access the food, whoever produced or acquired the ingredients, the processors and packers, the store owner for providing a location where you could get it, and even the funds to buy it. It may seem a subtle distinction, but it's there.
Re-read the last two paragraphs. What is your inner sense, your feeling, your gut-level reaction? Which emotion or thought would you rather project outward: fear of lack or appreciation for what you experience?
What about giving? Find a way to attach appreciation to it, even if it's only to appreciate the fact that you have something you can share with another. Work with this until you can remove any thought of lack you attach to the act or recipient.
The next time you pay a bill, ask yourself what you appreciate about the service or product it provides, or the experience it allowed you to have. When you make a purchase, ask yourself if the price is in alignment with the level of appreciation you will feel once it's yours. As you consider anything, even relationships, give thought to your level of appreciation in its regard. And, don't be surprised at the insights and expanded abundance that come to you when you put this into practice. What we focus on, we get more of.
— — —
Joyce Shafer is a life empowerment coach and author of "I Don't Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say" as well as "How to Have What You Really Want" and contributor of articles to various publications. She has an eclectic background and focuses on learning, growing, and sharing information at every opportunity. She can be emailed at {email jls1422@yahoo.com}jls1422@yahoo.com{/email}. © Copyright 2008 by Joyce Shafer.
I'm a proponent of what quantum physicists and spiritual leaders expound: What you focus on, you get more of, whether positive or negative. Since this has been my own life experience, I had to look deeper and pulled the dictionary from the shelf. Gratitude: A feeling of thankful appreciation for favors or benefits received. Favor: A kind, obliging, friendly or generous act. Benefit: A kindly, charitable act.
These definitions supported my underlying unrest about gratitude. A favor, by its nature, implies something done that obligates the receiver to the giver. Most of us have heard or read the phrase "I called in a favor." Benefit carries the energy of charity. Both of these imply that a recipient is in a state of lack.
Appreciate means to think well of; understand and enjoy; recognize the value of. No mention of lack; just enjoyment, understanding, and recognition of value, on some level, of something.
What is the significance or difference? Let's try an example, using both terms. You sit down to a meal and say, "I am grateful." Behind that may lie gratitude that you are not one of the starving millions on the planet or one of the homeless you passed on the street.
Now suppose you say, "I appreciate this." You appreciate the food and what it provides to your body. You appreciate every person who made it possible for you to access the food, whoever produced or acquired the ingredients, the processors and packers, the store owner for providing a location where you could get it, and even the funds to buy it. It may seem a subtle distinction, but it's there.
Re-read the last two paragraphs. What is your inner sense, your feeling, your gut-level reaction? Which emotion or thought would you rather project outward: fear of lack or appreciation for what you experience?
What about giving? Find a way to attach appreciation to it, even if it's only to appreciate the fact that you have something you can share with another. Work with this until you can remove any thought of lack you attach to the act or recipient.
The next time you pay a bill, ask yourself what you appreciate about the service or product it provides, or the experience it allowed you to have. When you make a purchase, ask yourself if the price is in alignment with the level of appreciation you will feel once it's yours. As you consider anything, even relationships, give thought to your level of appreciation in its regard. And, don't be surprised at the insights and expanded abundance that come to you when you put this into practice. What we focus on, we get more of.
— — —
Joyce Shafer is a life empowerment coach and author of "I Don't Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say" as well as "How to Have What You Really Want" and contributor of articles to various publications. She has an eclectic background and focuses on learning, growing, and sharing information at every opportunity. She can be emailed at {email jls1422@yahoo.com}jls1422@yahoo.com{/email}. © Copyright 2008 by Joyce Shafer.