Thursday, January 17, 2008 at 12:12am
Success really does come in cans
Column: Unclutter Your Life
I wish I'd coined the phrase "Success comes in Cans." Its accuracy was on my mind as I spent time with two people in Can't Mode. One of them was open to reframing thoughts and statements; the other was not.
One is currently in a funk and has been paying rent to live in Funkville for a couple of years. Ask him what he wants to do and he'll tell you. Ask him what he might do to get started or offer to connect him with someone doing it and his response is, "No one will hire me."
"Well, what about XYZ?"
"Nope. I just told you, no one will hire me."
"What about ... ?"
"Nothing I try works."
"But what about ... ?"
"Nothing I could try will work either."
How far will he go and how fast will he get there?
The other had a different response when she used Can't in her regard.
"If you say you can't, how will you ever do it?"
"I never thought about it like that."
"Let me share a statement with you: There's a way to do this, and I'm going to find it. What might happen if you repeatedly stated that to yourself?"
"I'll probably find it and create what I want."
Both individuals are creative and intelligent. The woman was open to brainstorming possibilities, which is what we did the rest of our conversation. As you see in the dialogue with the first, he slammed the door shut on everything.
Recently, I woke feeling fine then found myself in a funk. Did I want to stay there or feel even a little bit better? Better, of course. Were my thoughts and feelings at the time going to create more of what I wanted to expand in my life? Not those thoughts; and what they were was not what I wanted more of. When we have a dream or goal, we get excited. Then we get scared. There's only one sure way out of fear: Action. Action sets us free.
I'm not saying it's always easy to shift our focus to what we prefer to think and feel; but if we commit to it, we'll do it. If we take positive action, we'll achieve it even faster. If we have a target and keep aiming at it, eventually we're going to hit it. After a while, we'll start to hit it more than we miss it.
If your target is to feel great more often than not, aim for it. At the same time, remember to pay attention to what you learn about yourself in the process.
Success comes in Cans.
— — —
Joyce Shafer is a life empowerment coach and author of "I Don't Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say" as well as "How to Have What You Really Want" and contributor of articles to various publications. She also functions as a free-lance proofreader, editor, and ghost re-writer for fiction and non-fiction writers. Shafer can be emailed at {email jls1422@yahoo.com}jls1422@yahoo.com{/email}. © Copyright 2008 by Joyce Shafer.
One is currently in a funk and has been paying rent to live in Funkville for a couple of years. Ask him what he wants to do and he'll tell you. Ask him what he might do to get started or offer to connect him with someone doing it and his response is, "No one will hire me."
"Well, what about XYZ?"
"Nope. I just told you, no one will hire me."
"What about ... ?"
"Nothing I try works."
"But what about ... ?"
"Nothing I could try will work either."
How far will he go and how fast will he get there?
The other had a different response when she used Can't in her regard.
"If you say you can't, how will you ever do it?"
"I never thought about it like that."
"Let me share a statement with you: There's a way to do this, and I'm going to find it. What might happen if you repeatedly stated that to yourself?"
"I'll probably find it and create what I want."
Both individuals are creative and intelligent. The woman was open to brainstorming possibilities, which is what we did the rest of our conversation. As you see in the dialogue with the first, he slammed the door shut on everything.
Recently, I woke feeling fine then found myself in a funk. Did I want to stay there or feel even a little bit better? Better, of course. Were my thoughts and feelings at the time going to create more of what I wanted to expand in my life? Not those thoughts; and what they were was not what I wanted more of. When we have a dream or goal, we get excited. Then we get scared. There's only one sure way out of fear: Action. Action sets us free.
I'm not saying it's always easy to shift our focus to what we prefer to think and feel; but if we commit to it, we'll do it. If we take positive action, we'll achieve it even faster. If we have a target and keep aiming at it, eventually we're going to hit it. After a while, we'll start to hit it more than we miss it.
If your target is to feel great more often than not, aim for it. At the same time, remember to pay attention to what you learn about yourself in the process.
Success comes in Cans.
— — —
Joyce Shafer is a life empowerment coach and author of "I Don't Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say" as well as "How to Have What You Really Want" and contributor of articles to various publications. She also functions as a free-lance proofreader, editor, and ghost re-writer for fiction and non-fiction writers. Shafer can be emailed at {email jls1422@yahoo.com}jls1422@yahoo.com{/email}. © Copyright 2008 by Joyce Shafer.