Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 1:01am
Jesus turns family culture upside down
Column: New Houses from Old Bricks
For many adults I know, a major life issue is recovering from their childhood. Either they're trying to let go of painful experiences or harmful patterns, or they're still trying to find something to fill the hole of needs long unmet. Yet many of them grew up in solid, church-going families who looked good on the outside, but were hurting and hurtful behind closed doors.
These are the families I think of when I hear the words "family ministry" — hence the skepticism of last week's column. Given the weaknesses and shortcomings of human families, is it really wise for a church to minister to children primarily with and through their parents in "family ministry" — instead of, say, through age-grouped activities such as children's Sunday School and teenage youth group? Realistically, how many parents are capable of such a key spiritual role?
Well, what would Jesus do? In the Bible, what Jesus did was set people free from their families of origin. But other strands of tradition interpret the role of the family differently.
1. God said, "Parents teach children the faith."
Well before Jesus, the book of Deuteronomy set a different standard. There, God says to the people of Israel: "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up" (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). Parents are responsible for teaching their children God's word.
2. Martin Luther said, "Parents teach children the faith."
During the 15th century, Luther wrote that "there is no greater or nobler authority on earth" than the teaching role of parents. Rather than trusting priests with all religious education, he put it back in the hands of parents and wrote the Small Catechism to support basic Christian education.
So when a church is trying to figure out how to minister to children and their parents, which tradition wins: Old Testament, New Testament, or Reformation? It helps to interpret Jesus from a different perspective, one that takes into account the differences between his culture and ours.
3. Jesus often turns the culture upside down for the sake of love.
In Jesus' time, family ties bound much more tightly. Family was pretty much destiny, the main source of identity and livelihood. Compared to that setting, even the closest of American families today have more opportunity to pursue one's own identity and future (even in families closer than the relatively loose ties of many white middle-class families).
In calling people to follow him regardless of family obligations, Jesus turned that aspect of culture upside down. He called people to follow him in love, joy and service to others. If family stood in the way, then people were to follow him anyway, and discover a new family in the "household" of Christ (i.e., Ephesians 2:19). He taught people to say no for the sake of God's kingdom.
My guess is, Jesus would have different words for today's culture of loose family ties, in which people leave family obligations at even the slightest impulse to pursue their own destiny. In calling people to follow him in love, joy and service to others, I suspect that Jesus would call people to begin at home, with their own families.
Saying "no" for the sake of God's kingdom is still important. Jesus might call families away from soccer teams and back to Sabbath; away from 60-hour work weeks and back to conversation over dinner; away from TV and Internet and video games and back to ways of serving neighbors together. That's the kind of thing Jesus might do in order to turn our culture upside down for the sake of love.
Are we even capable of that kind of family in our time? Well, rarely are people perfectly "capable" of the roles to which they are called — family roles perhaps most of all. The church has an opportunity to help people fulfill the vocations to which God calls them, including marriage and parenting. But it is not the church's job to take over those roles, i.e., by filling parents' role as spiritual guides for their children. Rather, the church should help people grow into the parent (or spouse or son or daughter) God is calling them to be.
One way we might do this is by practicing "family ministry," giving parents tools to teach the faith to their children, and calling people back to their vocations in family life — perhaps a bit like Jesus turning the culture upside down for the sake of love.
Of course, even then, parents and families and churches will never be perfect, which makes them perfect schools for tolerance, forgiveness and redemption. Even if those take a lifetime to learn.
— — —
Rev. Rebecca Schlatter is an ordained minister in the Lutheran Church (ELCA) in Reno, Nevada. You can contact her at {email newhousesfromoldbricks@hotmail.com}newhousesfromoldbricks@hotmail.com{/email}. © Copyright 2008 by Rebecca Schlatter.
These are the families I think of when I hear the words "family ministry" — hence the skepticism of last week's column. Given the weaknesses and shortcomings of human families, is it really wise for a church to minister to children primarily with and through their parents in "family ministry" — instead of, say, through age-grouped activities such as children's Sunday School and teenage youth group? Realistically, how many parents are capable of such a key spiritual role?
Well, what would Jesus do? In the Bible, what Jesus did was set people free from their families of origin. But other strands of tradition interpret the role of the family differently.
1. God said, "Parents teach children the faith."
Well before Jesus, the book of Deuteronomy set a different standard. There, God says to the people of Israel: "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up" (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). Parents are responsible for teaching their children God's word.
2. Martin Luther said, "Parents teach children the faith."
During the 15th century, Luther wrote that "there is no greater or nobler authority on earth" than the teaching role of parents. Rather than trusting priests with all religious education, he put it back in the hands of parents and wrote the Small Catechism to support basic Christian education.
So when a church is trying to figure out how to minister to children and their parents, which tradition wins: Old Testament, New Testament, or Reformation? It helps to interpret Jesus from a different perspective, one that takes into account the differences between his culture and ours.
3. Jesus often turns the culture upside down for the sake of love.
In Jesus' time, family ties bound much more tightly. Family was pretty much destiny, the main source of identity and livelihood. Compared to that setting, even the closest of American families today have more opportunity to pursue one's own identity and future (even in families closer than the relatively loose ties of many white middle-class families).
In calling people to follow him regardless of family obligations, Jesus turned that aspect of culture upside down. He called people to follow him in love, joy and service to others. If family stood in the way, then people were to follow him anyway, and discover a new family in the "household" of Christ (i.e., Ephesians 2:19). He taught people to say no for the sake of God's kingdom.
My guess is, Jesus would have different words for today's culture of loose family ties, in which people leave family obligations at even the slightest impulse to pursue their own destiny. In calling people to follow him in love, joy and service to others, I suspect that Jesus would call people to begin at home, with their own families.
Saying "no" for the sake of God's kingdom is still important. Jesus might call families away from soccer teams and back to Sabbath; away from 60-hour work weeks and back to conversation over dinner; away from TV and Internet and video games and back to ways of serving neighbors together. That's the kind of thing Jesus might do in order to turn our culture upside down for the sake of love.
Are we even capable of that kind of family in our time? Well, rarely are people perfectly "capable" of the roles to which they are called — family roles perhaps most of all. The church has an opportunity to help people fulfill the vocations to which God calls them, including marriage and parenting. But it is not the church's job to take over those roles, i.e., by filling parents' role as spiritual guides for their children. Rather, the church should help people grow into the parent (or spouse or son or daughter) God is calling them to be.
One way we might do this is by practicing "family ministry," giving parents tools to teach the faith to their children, and calling people back to their vocations in family life — perhaps a bit like Jesus turning the culture upside down for the sake of love.
Of course, even then, parents and families and churches will never be perfect, which makes them perfect schools for tolerance, forgiveness and redemption. Even if those take a lifetime to learn.
— — —
Rev. Rebecca Schlatter is an ordained minister in the Lutheran Church (ELCA) in Reno, Nevada. You can contact her at {email newhousesfromoldbricks@hotmail.com}newhousesfromoldbricks@hotmail.com{/email}. © Copyright 2008 by Rebecca Schlatter.