Thursday, February 7, 2008 at 12:12am
God, you want me to do what?
Column: wavelength
I have always been a headstrong type; some might even call me stubborn. I prefer being my own boss. So, it has been more than interesting as I walk my spiritual path that I have had to learn, sometimes the hard way, and sometimes the very hard way, to follow directions.
Let me give you some recent examples:
A few weeks ago, very late one Sunday night, Spirit directed me to contact a local spiritualist church to see if they ever needed any substitute speakers. Now, mind you, I am not a minister or reverend or any kind of ordained person, nor have I ever done anything like this before. Plus I get the willies doing public speaking. It is something that I repeatedly force myself to do in an effort to overcome my fear.
Nonetheless, I dutifully go online, find the requisite site, send an email of inquiry and within maybe 10 hours I have received an affirmative response. By the end of the day, I have had a phone conversation with a church organizer, and a date has been set when I will be the fill-in "preacher."
As the fill-in preacher, my duties are to lead their service and follow their prescribed structure of opening and closing the service, hymns, readings and the like. My specific tasks are to give a sermon, do a reading and guided meditation, and provide what is called "Spirit Communication." In the spiritualist tradition, connection with the other realms, i.e., spirit communication, is considered readily available and divinely gifted.
As I prepared for the service the night before, I found myself growing increasingly nervous. It was difficult for me to simmer down. I ate all the sunflower seeds and bagels in my apartment, anything crunchy or chewy to assuage my jaw tension. The Gods gave me almost a page of introduction; it felt like a runway ramp. I wrote another four pages of notes and then took a bath. (The bathtub is often a place of connection for me.) In the bathtub, the Gods tell me to use the first page, ditch the remaining four pages I had written and to speak extemporaneously. Oh, boy ... extemporaneous, You say?
The sermon, reading and guided meditation went nicely. Now, it was time for Spirit Communication. This is an exercise in complete trust and faith that information will come. I am totally dependent on Spirit. There is nothing I can really do save show up, not faint, be present and serve as a channel of grace.
I tell the small congregation that when I do this kind of work I take off my shoes. I also tell them they could ask me direct questions, and I wasn't going to stay on the altar.
I step down into the aisle, start walking and start chanting. (I was told to use this loud, native chant in the bath the night before.) I ask individuals if I can hold their hands so that I can energetically connect with them. Then, Spirit takes over with messages. The Gods are so good to me. I look at the first woman and the words, "It will be OK," tumble from my mouth. The woman begins to cry.
Over the years, experience has taught me to trust these directives. And that level of trust is fairly amazing for this rebellious, I'll-do-it-myself person.
Yes, there are moments when I feel like a fool or wonder if I have lost all credibility. It can be unnerving and scary; yet I continue to follow Spirit's lead the majority of the time. There have been moments when I have been given personal suggestion, and I continue to resist out of fear, stubbornness or just plain stupidity.
For the most part, though, I have learned to pay attention to the signs and symbols before me; I have learned to listen to the soft whisper of suggestion.
Let me be clear: This surrender to Spirit has not come easily, especially for someone who likes to be in control. I am, after all, a woman with a clipboard. It has taken a demolition crew of experiences to break through the defenses of my ego. Much like water constantly dripping onto a stone, it has taken years for my personal will to get the message that there is a larger will at work. This will is a force much greater than my small persona; it operates from a higher vibration and greater perspective. I call it divine will.
I realize that the ego wants to hold on and protect what it knows and shows to the world; that is the ego's function; whereas the soul wants to grow, expand and evolve. The soul, at the urging of Spirit, wants to push me out of my comfort zone and beyond the confines of my ego. I am stretched and challenged and called to work without a net. Yikes!
And, curiously, the energetic point of surrender where we peel our fingers off the steering wheel of life and humbly mutter, "Thy will be done" is located between head and heart, thoughts and feelings. This midpoint between head and heart is, of course, the throat. Hmmm ... public speaking seems like a good place to clear any stuck energies I might have regarding will.
I continue to be amazed by these Spirit directives and where they lead me. Who knew that being willing to surrender could also be so enlivening?
Thank you, God. What's next on our agenda?
— — —
Dr. Adele Ryan McDowell, Ph.D., is a psychologist, empath and shaman who likes looking at life with the big viewfinder. Her email address is {email ARMCDOWELL@aol.com}ARMCDOWELL@aol.com{/email}. © Copyright 2008 by Adele Ryan McDowell.
Let me give you some recent examples:
A few weeks ago, very late one Sunday night, Spirit directed me to contact a local spiritualist church to see if they ever needed any substitute speakers. Now, mind you, I am not a minister or reverend or any kind of ordained person, nor have I ever done anything like this before. Plus I get the willies doing public speaking. It is something that I repeatedly force myself to do in an effort to overcome my fear.
Nonetheless, I dutifully go online, find the requisite site, send an email of inquiry and within maybe 10 hours I have received an affirmative response. By the end of the day, I have had a phone conversation with a church organizer, and a date has been set when I will be the fill-in "preacher."
As the fill-in preacher, my duties are to lead their service and follow their prescribed structure of opening and closing the service, hymns, readings and the like. My specific tasks are to give a sermon, do a reading and guided meditation, and provide what is called "Spirit Communication." In the spiritualist tradition, connection with the other realms, i.e., spirit communication, is considered readily available and divinely gifted.
As I prepared for the service the night before, I found myself growing increasingly nervous. It was difficult for me to simmer down. I ate all the sunflower seeds and bagels in my apartment, anything crunchy or chewy to assuage my jaw tension. The Gods gave me almost a page of introduction; it felt like a runway ramp. I wrote another four pages of notes and then took a bath. (The bathtub is often a place of connection for me.) In the bathtub, the Gods tell me to use the first page, ditch the remaining four pages I had written and to speak extemporaneously. Oh, boy ... extemporaneous, You say?
The sermon, reading and guided meditation went nicely. Now, it was time for Spirit Communication. This is an exercise in complete trust and faith that information will come. I am totally dependent on Spirit. There is nothing I can really do save show up, not faint, be present and serve as a channel of grace.
I tell the small congregation that when I do this kind of work I take off my shoes. I also tell them they could ask me direct questions, and I wasn't going to stay on the altar.
I step down into the aisle, start walking and start chanting. (I was told to use this loud, native chant in the bath the night before.) I ask individuals if I can hold their hands so that I can energetically connect with them. Then, Spirit takes over with messages. The Gods are so good to me. I look at the first woman and the words, "It will be OK," tumble from my mouth. The woman begins to cry.
Over the years, experience has taught me to trust these directives. And that level of trust is fairly amazing for this rebellious, I'll-do-it-myself person.
Yes, there are moments when I feel like a fool or wonder if I have lost all credibility. It can be unnerving and scary; yet I continue to follow Spirit's lead the majority of the time. There have been moments when I have been given personal suggestion, and I continue to resist out of fear, stubbornness or just plain stupidity.
For the most part, though, I have learned to pay attention to the signs and symbols before me; I have learned to listen to the soft whisper of suggestion.
Let me be clear: This surrender to Spirit has not come easily, especially for someone who likes to be in control. I am, after all, a woman with a clipboard. It has taken a demolition crew of experiences to break through the defenses of my ego. Much like water constantly dripping onto a stone, it has taken years for my personal will to get the message that there is a larger will at work. This will is a force much greater than my small persona; it operates from a higher vibration and greater perspective. I call it divine will.
I realize that the ego wants to hold on and protect what it knows and shows to the world; that is the ego's function; whereas the soul wants to grow, expand and evolve. The soul, at the urging of Spirit, wants to push me out of my comfort zone and beyond the confines of my ego. I am stretched and challenged and called to work without a net. Yikes!
And, curiously, the energetic point of surrender where we peel our fingers off the steering wheel of life and humbly mutter, "Thy will be done" is located between head and heart, thoughts and feelings. This midpoint between head and heart is, of course, the throat. Hmmm ... public speaking seems like a good place to clear any stuck energies I might have regarding will.
I continue to be amazed by these Spirit directives and where they lead me. Who knew that being willing to surrender could also be so enlivening?
Thank you, God. What's next on our agenda?
— — —
Dr. Adele Ryan McDowell, Ph.D., is a psychologist, empath and shaman who likes looking at life with the big viewfinder. Her email address is {email ARMCDOWELL@aol.com}ARMCDOWELL@aol.com{/email}. © Copyright 2008 by Adele Ryan McDowell.