Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 12:12am
You are what your sex practices make of you
Column: PERFECTBALANCELIFE
French gastronome Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin's axiom "Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are" is largely accepted as self-evident truth. Different kinds of foods do produce various kinds of effects on the body. These physical body effects also influence our psychological, emotional, mental, and spiritual makeup. In a similar way, we can say that we are shaped and molded by the sex practices we engage in. Our sex practices produce different effects on our physical body and also on our soul qualities. We are what our sex practices make us out to be. Former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer's recent fall from grace, after being snared by federal investigators for soliciting sex with a prostitute, is a stark reminder of how we can rise or fall based on our sex practices.
In Proverbs 7:22-27, we are instructed regarding the folly of yielding to a harlot: "All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its entrails; as a bird rushed into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life. ... Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths; for many a victim has she laid low; yea, all her slain are a mighty host. Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death." What few people seem to realize is that having sexual relations with the wrong partner is not just a matter of endangering one's physical well-being, like getting some kind of physically transmitted disease. Having sex with someone who thinks different, feels different, and whose sex practices are promiscuous also affects your mental, emotional and psychological well-being.
Walter Russell, in his book "The Message of the Divine Iliad — Vol. II," speaks to the grave consequences of wrong sex practices: "The ever thoughtless average human thinks that sexual promiscuity leaves no damaging effects unless one of the participants is diseased. Mr. Average Man [or Woman] would be shocked to learn that the very Self-pattern of his racial ideal, his emotions, his blood stream, his individual ideal and his very character is degenerated by choosing the wrong mate and by every promiscuous sexual experience." According to Russell, engaging in sexual relations with a mismatched mate, even just one time, can permanently alter your individual soul qualities. I agree with him, wholeheartedly. Is this not why all valid religious traditions have encouraged young men and women to carefully choose their marriage partner and to not engage in sexual relations before marriage? It is very possible the "wait until marriage" movement is not only a moral imperative but also a science-based proposition as well.
I think Mr. Spitzer did not see things quite this way. What do you think? How can a man think about having sex with someone who is just a few years older than his own oldest daughter? Although Spitzer probably came away from his sex practices without a physical disease, can there be any question that his life has been altered? Have not his mind, heart, emotions and psychological makeup been permanently impacted? As he alluded to in his resignation speech, he now needs to take time to heal himself and his family before he can make any other kind of forward progress. It is his soul qualities that need time to heal; qualities invisible to our physical senses, but nonetheless just as real as what can be seen with our physical eyes. Let us allow Spitzer's painful downfall to create an even greater resolve in our mind to not damage our soul qualities through unbalanced and unwise sex practices. Much is at stake. Let us not falter.
Jack LaValley is a practitioner of the martial arts, physical cultivation exercises, and sitting meditation. Although currently working in the hospitality industry, he spends much of his free time helping and working together with those who are pursuing the spiritual path. Jack and his wife, Wha-ja Oh-LaValley, a native of South Korea, reside in Westchester County, New York, and are the proud parents of three beautiful children. Jack is completing his book manuscript, "A Perfectly Balanced Life: Living Each Day with Wisdom and Strength," and expects publication to be in October 2008. You can reach Jack at: perfectbalance1@optimum.net © Copyright 2008 by Jack LaValley.
In Proverbs 7:22-27, we are instructed regarding the folly of yielding to a harlot: "All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its entrails; as a bird rushed into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life. ... Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths; for many a victim has she laid low; yea, all her slain are a mighty host. Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death." What few people seem to realize is that having sexual relations with the wrong partner is not just a matter of endangering one's physical well-being, like getting some kind of physically transmitted disease. Having sex with someone who thinks different, feels different, and whose sex practices are promiscuous also affects your mental, emotional and psychological well-being.
Walter Russell, in his book "The Message of the Divine Iliad — Vol. II," speaks to the grave consequences of wrong sex practices: "The ever thoughtless average human thinks that sexual promiscuity leaves no damaging effects unless one of the participants is diseased. Mr. Average Man [or Woman] would be shocked to learn that the very Self-pattern of his racial ideal, his emotions, his blood stream, his individual ideal and his very character is degenerated by choosing the wrong mate and by every promiscuous sexual experience." According to Russell, engaging in sexual relations with a mismatched mate, even just one time, can permanently alter your individual soul qualities. I agree with him, wholeheartedly. Is this not why all valid religious traditions have encouraged young men and women to carefully choose their marriage partner and to not engage in sexual relations before marriage? It is very possible the "wait until marriage" movement is not only a moral imperative but also a science-based proposition as well.
I think Mr. Spitzer did not see things quite this way. What do you think? How can a man think about having sex with someone who is just a few years older than his own oldest daughter? Although Spitzer probably came away from his sex practices without a physical disease, can there be any question that his life has been altered? Have not his mind, heart, emotions and psychological makeup been permanently impacted? As he alluded to in his resignation speech, he now needs to take time to heal himself and his family before he can make any other kind of forward progress. It is his soul qualities that need time to heal; qualities invisible to our physical senses, but nonetheless just as real as what can be seen with our physical eyes. Let us allow Spitzer's painful downfall to create an even greater resolve in our mind to not damage our soul qualities through unbalanced and unwise sex practices. Much is at stake. Let us not falter.
Jack LaValley is a practitioner of the martial arts, physical cultivation exercises, and sitting meditation. Although currently working in the hospitality industry, he spends much of his free time helping and working together with those who are pursuing the spiritual path. Jack and his wife, Wha-ja Oh-LaValley, a native of South Korea, reside in Westchester County, New York, and are the proud parents of three beautiful children. Jack is completing his book manuscript, "A Perfectly Balanced Life: Living Each Day with Wisdom and Strength," and expects publication to be in October 2008. You can reach Jack at: perfectbalance1@optimum.net © Copyright 2008 by Jack LaValley.