Posted: May 14th, 2008 at 8:03pm By: Sorah Dubitsky
The New York Times recently featured an article previewing the new CBS series, Swingtown. Swingtown tells the story of three suburban Chicago couples who experiment with wife swapping, group sex and other 1970s bedrooms sports.

The series’ creator, Mike Kelley, is the 40 something year old son of parents who serve as the models for the couples he writes about. Mr. Kelley describes himself as being a “banister kid,” watching his parents’ parties from a staircase. Although Mr. Kelley’s mother says that the stories are “embellished,” she admits that there were a number of couples in their neighborhood who flirted, experimented sexually, and eventually wound up divorced.

As a survivor of the swinging 70s, whose life followed the path Kelley’s mother describes, I believe those experiences served a higher purpose. The purpose those experiences served was to show me that sex, in and of itself, was meaningless. In other words after a while, the novelty wears off and the excitement disappears. It’s like the old cigarette commercial that asks the question “Are you smoking more and enjoying it less?”

So indulgence of sensory experiences, in the end, was no more satisfying than denial of sensory experiences. This is something that Osho, as well as other spiritual teachers speak about. Both indulgence and denial make experiences of this world the source of happiness: If you indulge, you’ll find happiness or if you don’t indulge, you’ll find happiness.

But as those of us who’ve lived in this world for a while have learned, happiness based on worldly experiences is fleeting. New toys don’t suffice for long and denying the desire for new toys doesn’t suffice either.

Of course each generation has to find its own way on the journey of sexual exploration. A recent survey by AOL found that one-third of the 30,000 mothers who responded said that they had an affair. The survey also found that these women wanted more sex.

There are many reasons for wanting sex that have nothing to do with sex. High on the list of reasons are knowing that you’re still attractive and desirable, especially after having had kids. A healthy libido is associated with vitality. It’s a feeling of juiciness that makes life an adventure.

I wonder at what point this generation of 30 somethings, like the generation that will be depicted in Swingtown, will hit the “is that all there is” point. I wonder when they will realize that sex is not love and external seeking will never bring sustained happiness.

After teaching a college course in human sexuality last fall, I got the feeling that every generation thinks it invented sex. Perhaps my generation’s contribution, through the sexual revolution, was to take sex out of the closet and make it okay to be a sexual being. But acknowledging being a sexual being is like discovering fire: fire can soothe and warm or scald and burn. Which one fire becomes depends on how it’s used. The same thing can be said for sex: it can soothe or destroy.

I find it interesting that my generation, the generation of sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll, also spurred the surge in spiritual seeking. On YouTube, you can find video footage of the Beatles talking about their experiences visiting Maharishi Mahesh Yogi at his Ashram in Rishikesh. Anyone who’s listened to Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band has heard the Indian influences in the music, especially in songs by George Harrison. The transcendent or altered states that sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll provide are mere glimpses of the sustained happiness that comes from finding inner peace.

The swinging 70s generation are now, for the most part, either non-swinging seniors or nearing non-swinging seniorhood. My hope that like me, my contemporaries have found the inner juice that drives vitality so that when Swingtown airs, we can view it with amusement and gratitude that those experiences have led us to spiritual growth.

Dr. Sorah Dubitsky, Ph.D., is an author, speaker, teacher and healer. She conducts workshops and seminars on love, marriage, sexuality and spirituality. She also offers individual and couples counseling. She is also a fellow at Florida International University’s Center for the Study of Spirituality. Her book, A Chorus of Wisdom is available at Amazon.com and all major online and retail book outlets. Visit her website. Send an email to dr.sorah@drsorah.com. © copyright 2008 by Dr. Sorah Dubitsky



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