Saturday, August 9, 2008 at 12:12pm
Marriage Happiness Depends on You Not Them
Column: God in Real Time
I was having a fit of nostalgia the other day and was listening to the song Man in the Mirror. I've always loved the tune, liked the lyrics but never really listened to the them. But for some reason I was thinking about the people that read this blog while I was listening to the song and it suddenly took on a whole new meaning. Instead of hearing what the song said on the chorus, I heard I'm talking to the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways. No message could have been any clearer but if you want to make your marriage a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change.
That was pretty profound. I thought to myself that must be God with another message for the blog. Then I began to think of how many times we look to the other person for every thing. We hold them accountable if we are not happy. We tell them they are responsible for why things are not going as they should. We expect them to meet our needs and make us whole. We want them to figure us out. We complain that we are not happy, but don't do anything about it. But what if we applied what the song said, look in the mirror and change your ways. Another part of the chorus says, you've got to stand up and lift YOURSELF.
I believe marriages would get better because you would stop tolerating stuff and deal with the matters at hand. I won't allow you to make me unhappy. You keep your misery to yourself. You can act like that if you want to but I won't put up with it, be careful or you might be finding yourself alone. I've decided to stand an lift myself. I want a marriage and am going to do the absolute best I can to bring it about, but you need to make some changes if you want me to stay around. I'm changing my attitude, my ways and it would be wise for you to take note. I refuse to live another miserable day in marriage.
When you look at the man in the mirror you suddenly realize that you do have some choices. When you look at the man in the mirror you realize that you don't have to allow another persons actions to determine your outcome. Maybe you should both look in the mirror and make a change. Stand up and lift yourself.
That was pretty profound. I thought to myself that must be God with another message for the blog. Then I began to think of how many times we look to the other person for every thing. We hold them accountable if we are not happy. We tell them they are responsible for why things are not going as they should. We expect them to meet our needs and make us whole. We want them to figure us out. We complain that we are not happy, but don't do anything about it. But what if we applied what the song said, look in the mirror and change your ways. Another part of the chorus says, you've got to stand up and lift YOURSELF.
I believe marriages would get better because you would stop tolerating stuff and deal with the matters at hand. I won't allow you to make me unhappy. You keep your misery to yourself. You can act like that if you want to but I won't put up with it, be careful or you might be finding yourself alone. I've decided to stand an lift myself. I want a marriage and am going to do the absolute best I can to bring it about, but you need to make some changes if you want me to stay around. I'm changing my attitude, my ways and it would be wise for you to take note. I refuse to live another miserable day in marriage.
When you look at the man in the mirror you suddenly realize that you do have some choices. When you look at the man in the mirror you realize that you don't have to allow another persons actions to determine your outcome. Maybe you should both look in the mirror and make a change. Stand up and lift yourself.