Whenever I visit my husband’s eldest son and daughter-in-law, I come home feeling healed and happy. Despite leading busy, busy lives— home, kids, and work — they are both loving and peaceful. They are centered, focused, and certain of their priorities. They are unconflicted about what they want out of life. They share the same values. Their kids are healthy, bright, energetic, and caring.

Of course there are things they wish they could have. Of course they are concerned about finances and their kids’ future. In short, they are just like any other American middle class parents, and yet, as someone who is pretty sensitive to energy, I never sense an ounce of angst when I visit. And yes they have had their share of dealing with medical issues and temper tantrums.

They’ve been married for over 10 years. I have no idea what their sex lives are like. That is definitely none of my business. What I believe they have together far transcends the sexual aspect of any relationship.

What I witness is a true partnership. They share cleaning, cooking, shopping, kid supervision and transportation, and work. They are both alternative health professionals. They have also built their own home and are currently building another home to serve both as a residence for his mother and as an investment property.

They are navigating the waters of 21st century life on planet earth. In the process, they are making a positive contribution to the betterment of one another’s life, to the lives of their kids, parents, siblings, their siblings’ families, and to their community.

I have no idea what their religious/spiritual persuasions are. I know they are not involved in organized religion. Since he is three-quarters Jewish, they are giving their children some inkling of that heritage, as well as celebrating Christmas and Thanksgiving.

To me, they share the same religion as the Dalai Lama: kindness. They are kind to one another, their kids, friends, family, and everyone with whom they are in contact. By being kind, they are practicing the essence of all religious teachings: do unto others as you would have done unto you.

Today, one of my friends asked me about my vacation. I told her how nice it was to spend time with my husband’s loving family. We’re both concerned with the situation in the world right now. My friend and I pray to be instruments of peace. Her comment after hearing me describe my time with my husband’s family was that you can’t have peace in the world unless there’s peace in the family.

The lyrics to Scott Kalechstein’s songs Light in the Soul perfectly sums up my friend’s sentiments:

When there’s light in the soul,
There’s beauty in the person.
When there’s beauty in the person,
There’s harmony in the home.
When there’s harmony in the home,
There’s order in the nation.
When there’s order in the nation
There’s peace in the world.

I don’t want to trivialize the importance of sex in a marriage. Sex, with the intent of giving and receiving love, opens the heart and opens the soul. I’m just getting a little sick of the male enhancement commercials that promise “super performance” and “a gift that keeps on giving.” Female libido enhancers are also available. The commercials for these products also promise great sex and even suggest that great sex solve relationship problems.

A loving relationship is better than great sex. Even the best sex only lasts for a limited amount of time. Not only does great love last a life-time, but it blesses, heals and makes holy the entire world.

Dr. Sorah Dubitsky, Ph.D., is an author, speaker, teacher and healer. She conducts workshops and seminars on love, marriage, sexuality and spirituality. She also offers individual and couples counseling. She is also a fellow at Florida International University’s Center for the Study of Spirituality. Her book, A Chorus of Wisdom is available at Amazon.com and all major online and retail book outlets. Visit her website. Send an email to dr.sorah@drsorah.com. © copyright 2008 by Dr. Sorah Dubitsky