It is amazing what you can pick up if you just spend some time observing your surroundings. As a Pastor, who has had a chance to observe many Christians it is amazing what constitutes Christian dating. In most cases it is no different than non-Christians.

The most common characteristic is the need of Christians to “date around” to “sow their royal oats.” Wait isn’t that what the world does? Yet it is disguised as “seeking the one God has for me.” I just don’t get it at times. Yet do not miss understand me I am not advocating arraigned marriages, well at least not earthly ones.

I still believe God can lead you to a perfect match without having to stoop down to practices that are not Biblical. The Bible tells us,

"I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem… That you do not arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases." (Song of Solomon 2:7)

Many individuals, lets pick on guys in this example, go about flirting with all types of women. Non which they have true intentions of long term commitments it is if they are dating just to pass the time until the “right” one comes along. Yet what happens if they are “successful,” they begin developing a reputation as a “flirt,” eventually arousing the hopes of women he has no intentions of getting serious with. That is flat out wrong. In essence we shouldn’t go around arousing the interest of the opposite sex unless you think the individual could fit into the role of your spouse.

In extreme cases this flirtation leads to pairing up with the wrong individual and could lead to the sin of fornication with the possibilities of unwanted pregnancies. This puts a stain on the Christians faith that should be centered on none other than the sinless one Jesus Christ. This is not even talking about the emotional scars we leave behind when “arousing the love” of others with no intentions of a lasting union. Why date someone you could not see yourself married to?

So how should a Christian date? He or she’s primary goal is to seek the will of God and to understand we cannot date as the world dates. We should first seek to understand the spirituality of the individual who has captured our interest. Does this person radiate with a love for God? Does the individual show “the fruits” of a daily walk with God? How does the person treat their family? These are questions usually reserved prior to taking the steps of marriage yet if you wait to ask them prior to marriage it might be too late. You should ask these questions before you even enter into a committed dating relationship. Understand that prior to marriage you might have already been emotional hooked especially if you have been dating for a long time. You might already be seduced emotionally to the point where you might not see the true answers to those questions. Hence is it is important to find the answers before a serious dating relationship begins. Yet that is not all.

Do you have your eyes focused primarily on Jesus and nothing else? If you claim to be like a Christian are you dating like a heathen? I understand none of us are perfect yet forgiveness is a prayer away if you have not been Christ like in your dating habits. Remember we are to do all “for the glory and honor of God” including our dating. God can help you in this endeavor. Below is a link that speaks further on the topic.

http://www.adventistreview.org/article.php?id=562

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Gio Marin is the pastor of the College Station and Waller Seventh-day Adventist Church in the state of Texas. He graduated in December 2007 with a master of divinity degree from Andrews Seventh-day Adventist Theological Seminary, with a dual emphasis on systematic theology and church growth & evangelism. Send him an email at GioMarinColumn@aol.com © Copyright 2009 by Gio Marin.