Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:12pm
The President's New Prize
Column: Mensch Press
There was great excitement in the palace and the Emperor’s clothes were the talk of the town.
“Magnificent,” cried the Emperor’s ministers, but they could see nothing at all. Indeed there was nothing to be seen.
And so the Emperor set off under the high canopy, at the head of the great procession. It was a great success. All the people standing by and at the windows cheered and cried,
“Oh, how splendid are the Emperor’s new clothes. What a magnificent train! How well the clothes fit!” No one dared to admit that he couldn’t see anything, for who would want it to be known that he was either stupid or unfit for his post?
But among the crowds a little child suddenly gasped out, “But he hasn’t got anything on.” And the people began to whisper to one another, “There’s a little child saying he hasn’t got anything on.” And then they repeated what the child had said. “He hasn’t got anything on.” Soon everyone was saying, “But he hasn’t got anything on.” The Emperor himself had the uncomfortable feeling that what they were whispering was only too true. “But I will have to go through with the procession,” he said to himself.
So he drew himself up and walked boldly on holding his head higher than before, and the courtiers held on to the train that wasn’t there at all.
–excerpted from The Emperor’s New Clothes by Hans Christian Andersen (1805-75), as adapted by Stephen Corrin in Stories for Seven-Year-Olds, London 1964.
There was great excitement in the White House, for President NotBush had been awarded the Nobel Price for Peace, joining such luminous enablers of peace as Al Gore and Yasser Arafat. The Norwegian Nobel Committee responsible for choosing the awardee said that the President was being honored for his “extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and co-operation between peoples” that apparently occurred during the two weeks between the President’s inauguration and the due date for nominations submitted to the Committee. Cooperation had indeed proliferated during the young President’s brief tenure: Russia was cooperating with leader Hugo Chavez to provide weapons of war to Venezuela, North Korea was cooperating with anyone who would pay it to develop nuclear weapons, and Iran had continued to cooperate with Hamas, Hezbollah and any number of terrorist outfits in the Mideast who exported bloodshed and violence.
Donning its political slicker, the Committee praised the “change in the international climate” that President NotBush had wrought, though actual peace itself was nowhere where it had not been before. The Committee also commended the President for his “vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons,” yet not a single nuclear weapon had actually been gotten rid of. Such invisible progress was achieved, explained former peace prize winner Desmond Tutu, because his Magnificence – in only a matter of weeks – “made such an impact on our planet with regards to the Muslim world, nuclear disarmament, climate change and, to some extent, the Middle East” while walking over the Reflecting Pool and leaping tall Republicans in a single bound.
The tremors of this impact caused other Nobel peace prize winners to express their delight. Kofi Annan raved that the President “has given a sense of hope and optimism to millions around the world;” perhaps balancing out the despair and pessimism of the millions who, unlike Annan’s son, did not benefit from the Oil-for-Food scandal – or any of the other scandals – that occurred on the former Secretary-General’s watch at the U.N. when he won the peace prize.
2002 peace prize laureate and former U.S. President Jimmy Carter called the selection “a bold statement of international support for [the President’s] vision and commitment to peace and harmony in international relations.” Mr. Carter was known for his broad smile and the peace and harmony that spread throughout Iran and the surrounding region following the overthrow of a U.S. ally by an oppressive theocracy during his administration. Mr. Carter was also known for his dream, which he shared with President NotBush, of a Mideast where peace and harmony would reign after the beleaguered Palestinians and their friends destroyed the troublesome tiny democracy known as Israel. Indeed, a new definition of serendipity would appear in Mr. Carter’s dictionary (and irony in everyone else’s) if President NotBush permitted the spread of Iranian “peace and harmony” to serve as the vehicle for Israel’s demise.
But among the crowd of admirers, children innocently wondered about the peace and harmony that the winner of the $880,000 prize had brought to their lives.
“Will President NotBush send us bread?” a child in a Sudanese refugee camp wondered. And her brother asked “Will he punish the government men who beat up our mother for trying to save our home?”
A Palestinian child asked “Will President NotBush punish the government men who beat up my brother for working for a Jew?”
“Will President NotBush punish the government men who beat up my father after Election Day?” an Iranian child inquired.
A North Korean child wanted to know: “What’s an ‘obama’?” “Is it a bird? Can we eat it? Will it help Dear Leader feed me and my sister?”
“Why does President NotBush want to be friends with the Palestinians who launch missiles against my school and my home?” a child in Sderot, Israel asked.
A Jewish American child asked “Can I be invited to the White House Seder next year?”
A bumper sticker on the back of a Texas schoolchild’s backpack challenged us to “Imagine Whirled Peas and Hominy”.
The President himself had the uncomfortable feeling that these children actually wanted something in exchange for his promises. He also wondered if the Norwegian Nobel Committee members were the most gullible white people he’d ever encountered aside from the Jewish Americans who’d helped vote him into office.
So he drew himself up and walked boldly on, holding his head higher than before, and his courtiers praised him for the award for accomplishments that existed solely in their minds.
“Magnificent,” cried the Emperor’s ministers, but they could see nothing at all. Indeed there was nothing to be seen.
And so the Emperor set off under the high canopy, at the head of the great procession. It was a great success. All the people standing by and at the windows cheered and cried,
“Oh, how splendid are the Emperor’s new clothes. What a magnificent train! How well the clothes fit!” No one dared to admit that he couldn’t see anything, for who would want it to be known that he was either stupid or unfit for his post?
But among the crowds a little child suddenly gasped out, “But he hasn’t got anything on.” And the people began to whisper to one another, “There’s a little child saying he hasn’t got anything on.” And then they repeated what the child had said. “He hasn’t got anything on.” Soon everyone was saying, “But he hasn’t got anything on.” The Emperor himself had the uncomfortable feeling that what they were whispering was only too true. “But I will have to go through with the procession,” he said to himself.
So he drew himself up and walked boldly on holding his head higher than before, and the courtiers held on to the train that wasn’t there at all.
–excerpted from The Emperor’s New Clothes by Hans Christian Andersen (1805-75), as adapted by Stephen Corrin in Stories for Seven-Year-Olds, London 1964.
There was great excitement in the White House, for President NotBush had been awarded the Nobel Price for Peace, joining such luminous enablers of peace as Al Gore and Yasser Arafat. The Norwegian Nobel Committee responsible for choosing the awardee said that the President was being honored for his “extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and co-operation between peoples” that apparently occurred during the two weeks between the President’s inauguration and the due date for nominations submitted to the Committee. Cooperation had indeed proliferated during the young President’s brief tenure: Russia was cooperating with leader Hugo Chavez to provide weapons of war to Venezuela, North Korea was cooperating with anyone who would pay it to develop nuclear weapons, and Iran had continued to cooperate with Hamas, Hezbollah and any number of terrorist outfits in the Mideast who exported bloodshed and violence.
Donning its political slicker, the Committee praised the “change in the international climate” that President NotBush had wrought, though actual peace itself was nowhere where it had not been before. The Committee also commended the President for his “vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons,” yet not a single nuclear weapon had actually been gotten rid of. Such invisible progress was achieved, explained former peace prize winner Desmond Tutu, because his Magnificence – in only a matter of weeks – “made such an impact on our planet with regards to the Muslim world, nuclear disarmament, climate change and, to some extent, the Middle East” while walking over the Reflecting Pool and leaping tall Republicans in a single bound.
The tremors of this impact caused other Nobel peace prize winners to express their delight. Kofi Annan raved that the President “has given a sense of hope and optimism to millions around the world;” perhaps balancing out the despair and pessimism of the millions who, unlike Annan’s son, did not benefit from the Oil-for-Food scandal – or any of the other scandals – that occurred on the former Secretary-General’s watch at the U.N. when he won the peace prize.
2002 peace prize laureate and former U.S. President Jimmy Carter called the selection “a bold statement of international support for [the President’s] vision and commitment to peace and harmony in international relations.” Mr. Carter was known for his broad smile and the peace and harmony that spread throughout Iran and the surrounding region following the overthrow of a U.S. ally by an oppressive theocracy during his administration. Mr. Carter was also known for his dream, which he shared with President NotBush, of a Mideast where peace and harmony would reign after the beleaguered Palestinians and their friends destroyed the troublesome tiny democracy known as Israel. Indeed, a new definition of serendipity would appear in Mr. Carter’s dictionary (and irony in everyone else’s) if President NotBush permitted the spread of Iranian “peace and harmony” to serve as the vehicle for Israel’s demise.
But among the crowd of admirers, children innocently wondered about the peace and harmony that the winner of the $880,000 prize had brought to their lives.
“Will President NotBush send us bread?” a child in a Sudanese refugee camp wondered. And her brother asked “Will he punish the government men who beat up our mother for trying to save our home?”
A Palestinian child asked “Will President NotBush punish the government men who beat up my brother for working for a Jew?”
“Will President NotBush punish the government men who beat up my father after Election Day?” an Iranian child inquired.
A North Korean child wanted to know: “What’s an ‘obama’?” “Is it a bird? Can we eat it? Will it help Dear Leader feed me and my sister?”
“Why does President NotBush want to be friends with the Palestinians who launch missiles against my school and my home?” a child in Sderot, Israel asked.
A Jewish American child asked “Can I be invited to the White House Seder next year?”
A bumper sticker on the back of a Texas schoolchild’s backpack challenged us to “Imagine Whirled Peas and Hominy”.
The President himself had the uncomfortable feeling that these children actually wanted something in exchange for his promises. He also wondered if the Norwegian Nobel Committee members were the most gullible white people he’d ever encountered aside from the Jewish Americans who’d helped vote him into office.
So he drew himself up and walked boldly on, holding his head higher than before, and his courtiers praised him for the award for accomplishments that existed solely in their minds.