Ernest Holmes wrote: The limit of our ability to demonstrate depends upon our ability to provide a mental equivalent of our desires, for the law of correspondence works from the belief to the thing. . . . What we demonstrate today, tomorrow and the next day is not as important as the TENDENCY WHICH OUR THOUGHT IS TAKING . . . the dominant attitude of our mind.

This got me to thinking about tendencies. A definition of tendency is “an inclination to move or act in a particular direction or way.” The dictionary says inclination “refers to a more or less vague mental disposition toward some action, practice, or thing.” And vague means “indefinite in shape, form, or character.” Maybe we feel vague or indefinite in our authenticity at times because we follow tendencies instead of our true nature.

Let’s look at a tendency so many of us contend with at one time or another: Negative thinking. When you do it, do you judge yourself? Self-judgment is a tendency, one that doesn’t help, as you’ve discovered. Should you strive to eliminate a tendency toward negative thinking? Maybe not, and I’ll explain why I say this. If you believe you HAVE to eliminate the tendency, you might spend or waste a lot of time and self-judgment trying to do this, OR you can consider this instead: “Okay, that’s my tendency; but I don’t have to follow it when it tries to lead me or my life.”

I’ve shared before that my “programmed” tendency is negativity first, mindfulness as soon as possible or as soon as I catch myself practicing negative tendencies. I tend to pause and think (usually) before I respond, especially if triggered. Some think that I should be more spontaneous—sometimes I am, but I prefer to pause and consider; it’s more me. The first thing I think is not always the thing I want to say and is sometimes a result of a tendency I learned and not what I’m ultimately aligned with. What we say penetrates the energy and cells of others and us. So I pay attention to whether or not the first thing I think is really what I want to etch into the ethers. I want to be clear that I’m not advocating this as a way that everyone should be, just that I’ve learned this about myself and feel better when I’m true to me in my fashion.

It may be that one day negativity won’t be the tendency that pops up first, but dwelling on its existence is as non-productive as bemoaning, say, my eye color. Nor does it help if I attempt to tuck this tendency under false positivity or deny it’s there. Like eye color, I can put in colored contacts to make others believe my eyes are violet, but what happens when I take the contacts out? Plus, I always know what’s really underneath the lenses.

I may be programmed to negativity first, but it’s not my true nature. Because of the programming, I have to be deliberate about getting beyond it when it happens. Over time and with intention and commitment and a morning meditative routine I rely on, negative tendencies now rise to the surface far less than they once did, or I dispel most of them a lot quicker than before. There are still certain situations that trigger negative tendencies as my first response, but staying there doesn’t work for me, which is part of my true nature: I’d rather do something I’m aligned with, to feel better, any day, than stay in negativity. True nature rises to the top, like cream, if you let it. And you let it do so by discovering what your true nature is and allowing that to guide you instead of tendencies that aren’t yours.

What are some of your less-than-positive tendencies? Are you conscious of whether or not they contrast with your true nature? Do you tend to cringe when you have to learn something new, but really enjoy learning, knowing, and being able to accomplish more? Do you tend to think about what others are doing or not doing in their life instead of what you could do in your own life? Do you tend to worry, but wish you could really allow yourself to trust the Universe to act in your best interest?

Many tendencies are, typically, taught to us. We believe they are natural or even logical. Some are, but some aren’t. Most are subtle memory implants of how someone or others responded or reacted, and we absorbed these tendencies as our own. We practiced them by rote, denying the clash we felt inside when we did them, or still do.

The path that takes us beyond our programmed negative tendencies is what leads us to the larger Universal Truth about how Reality functions, which ultimately is how WE function, or can. Learning, trusting, and using Universal Truth expands our conscious awareness, helps us flip from negative tendencies to a positive, or at least productive, attitude faster and easier than we once did. But it’s a day-by-day, moment-by-moment process that becomes more and more natural, and logical, through practice and through observing results and how we feel, but especially how we feel.

You have the opportunity and right to explore whether your thoughts and behaviors are tendencies (belong to someone else) or are yours (your true nature). One simple way to discern a negative tendency is to notice when you behave a certain way and it doesn’t feel good or appropriate for you. You feel the contrast. Exploring such contrasts leads you to ask right questions like, What would feel better and more natural to me as a way to think, feel, and behave in this matter? What might I have to do to create that experience for myself?

Our tendency of thought is, as Holmes wrote, more important than any manifestation we make because our tendency of thought is how we manifest and attract anything and everything. Using “could” statements is helpful: This situation could be better, in my favor, improve. I could have a better relationship with that person, have financial serenity, etc. The word “could” is a key that unlocks possibility and potential. Another key is to have a morning practice, no matter how brief, that allows you to re-Mind yourself of anything that helps you feel and create harmony and fulfillment for you and your life.

Your true nature is not vague or undefined, though may feel that way if it’s hidden beneath programmed tendencies. Start noticing your tendencies. If you’re going to practice a tendency, make sure it’s your own. Ask yourself if they are your genuine preferences, e.g., do you prefer to be anxious all the time (possibly a learned tendency) or more easy-going (a tendency you may possess but deny, or may choose to teach yourself); do you prefer to trust the Universe to guide you and act in your best interest or to feel you have to do everything yourself, and so on.

Do this assessment without judgment. Your genuine preferences reveal your true nature to you. Connect your true nature to the True Nature that is abundant, explorative, expansive, and blissed out at the simple fact and act of BEING, not just doing. It’s a good practice.

Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer

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